Tuesday, August 08, 2006

I was lost
Wandering through the unfamiliar alleyways
Full of darkness
Searching for something which I don’t even know myself.
I desperately needed to find it before I breathed my last.
Without it, I don’t even think I would survive
With my last bit of breath left
I pushed on
With my remaining strength I told myself I would
Find it.
Obtain it would and also covet it like a treasured gem.
However the task was vague.
I had no idea what the missing thing from my life is like.
With no inkling of it I was running a losing race.
But I trudged on through the dark.
I could begin to feel the cold closing in on me.
With the cold comes a thread of dreadful loneliness
No one wants to feel, let alone experience.
I became like a fish out of water.
Wanting so much to get a breath of fresh air.
Like a crazed man, I began to run in agony.
There seemed to be no walls to break my frenzied run.
How much I wanted to stop running.
To spare myself from the endless body ache.
But I know that unless I keep on running,
There would be no hope of me escaping.
From that dismal feeling,
The feeling of unwantedness and of abandonment.
No one could be able to endure such torture
How I wished I could die just right now, this moment.
How I wanted to end it all,
The futile search for something.
Just when I thought my lungs would collapse.
And my heart would stop functioning
I saw it.
It was just a glimpse, an unclear one at that
But with just one look at it,
I knew, I just knew.
I urged myself to go on.
Without every step I take.
My legs protested
But I ignored their cries for a rest
How could I rest at this point in time?
Whatever it takes, I must reach it.
Because I knew instinctively that if I stopped
Without reaching my soul
Eventually
I would forever be like a lost soul
Drowning in despair so great I would be strangled
Eventually
It was getting closer, and clearer.
I found myself drawn to it
As though I was a bee, drawn towards the scent of the flower
My body ache disappeared
My feelings were smoothened
I felt a strange sense of calmness
And also an amazing sense of love
So great this sense of love is that I felt all hatred, all anger and all resentment dissolving into nothing
My heart felt as though it could burst open
With rejoicing and joy
At being at home with this immense feeling of love
The bright light embraced me
At that instant I knew that I was finally home, where I truly belonged.
With My Father, My Saviour and My Redeemer.
The search had ended
I was at peace.
I had finally found what to be more specific or who I was looking for.
JESUS CHRIST, THE SON OF GOD.

Whatever you have asked for in a prayer, believe that you have received it and it will be yours, and when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you and your sins,

MARK 11 : 24


My spiritual mother had a friend who told her one day that she knew she was looking for something but what exactly she did not know. I then got the idea of writing about this someone who was trying so frantically to get something. In the heart of each and everyone, there is a God-shaped void that only God would fill. No matter how hard you try to fill that void with things like money, fame or romantic relationships, it could never be fulfilled, you may not realize it but indeed, what is missing from most of our lives is the relationship with God and Him alone, ONLY HE WHO LOVES US MOST IS ABLE TO COMPLETE OUR LIVES.