If only i could feelthis way all the time. This is the supreme feeling of knowing that im in good hands, knowing that come what may in the future, i have a backer who always never fails to back me up and who will always be there, as solid as a rock, when im in need. Eveything will come into order eventually and nothing at all will be unsolvable. Im feeling right on top of the world, all because of this sudden annoynomous sense of confidence that felt so overwhelming in me. It was so much it became overflowing and i thought that it would burst me through my saturation level. This amazing feeling comes not from my overconceited alter ego or even my inner hidden self but from someone above it all, yes you guessed right- the Lord! This endless fuel of strength came from Him. Through Him i gained the stength to face things on my own, no one else is needed, even my most trusted confidante. Just Him walking beside me, it's overempowering enough. Just the day befoer i remembered my past self, the one who was always worrying about the uncertainties of the future. Unexpected things could happen when we least expected it. If only i could predict the future, if only i could have a million back-up plans if things fail to succeed. Come today, i've changed so completely and im really glad for this change, which was brought about by God and Jesus. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if God had not given me so many opportunities to know Him, i suppose i would still remain as myself, the girl who is always fears the feeling of rejection from her family, from her friends. That's why im so glad that i know God. This is definitely for the better. I could give everything of mine away but i would not want to lose God or that one chance to know Him. He is that important to me, really. Without Him i would be like a lost sheep from its flock, a lost boat on the vast ocean, a lost stray puppy or even a runaway child. All i could say to describe the wonderful feeling of knowing Him and being with Him is that its fantastic.

I got the white tyson bag from num and i simply loved it! Even though i got scolded by my mum later but still it was worth it ha.. i have to get it the moment my eyes fell on it.. it was simply beautiful lol.. can't possibly keep carrying that old brown bag of mine when i put on my brown new school uni.. i'll look like a sack of potatoes haha..

Anyway heard from my good friend that num is set up by some people who have a different sex interest than the usual males.. that got us talking about these special group of ppl at once. i heard from another person that gays are actually very compassionate ppl and u can talk about all the unhappy things which you would otherwise bury them inside and still they would not be tired of listening to your crap, instead they would be so caring and apathetic.. that is really different from the average male.. we also talked about lesbian relationships.. how in most of these relationaships, one party usually takes on the more masculine role (think short cropped hair, guy shirts and pants) . the irony is that these girls they should abhore the opp sex right? and yet in a relationaship with the same sex, one of them has to act like a guy.. this goes to tell that the order of nature exists right from the very beginning for a reason.

During the last gp lesson i took i was nodding my head all the way, throughout the whol 1 hr.. i was simply tooooo tired! im sleeping at 2 am earliest for at least a week, imagine how that would take a toll on your body.. its not that i was mugging or doing anything constructive like that, i was simply doing things like cutting my neoprints, reading every page of the papers, watching tv programmes, etc. its a really bad habit.. i think i should get rid of it.. haha.. then i felt quite bad towards my gp teacher and i went to apologise to her. she was so kind and said that no she doesn't mind at all when students nod off in her class, probably because she doesn't meet this kind of students often.. then she was so funny she actually massaged me on my shoulders lol..

and i've decided that i want to go into the arts stream yeah!!!!!!! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! ive thought of it for quite some time before coming to make this important decision.. i was sure that i do not want to go into engineering for obvious reasons (physics is my arch enemy). also im not in favour of anything related to the sciences.. science is just not my forte.. i know that i would go into the arts and social sciences school in nus and under that, business add and psychology interest me.. my preferred choice is psychology.. but of course that is not my confirmed choice.. i would be taking econs e.lit and perhaps hist instead of geo and maths as my contrasting sci subject.. i would have to talk to God before i appeal to go into the arts stream.. idiotic me put sci stream as my 1st choice lol..

going to the huang's family dinner later at xiaoguilin.. lots of old folks would be there.. boring.