ok, i just deleted this whole chunk of things i wrote abt a jjc couple i saw on a bus today. cos i guess i would come across as a crazy and super conservative obasang who's being overeactive and too high strung about trivial things like that. so, all i would say now is that that couple really grossed me out. and i really want to tell the guy this, "u think u're so cool, just because you're good-looking, have a good-looking girlfriend and so u can be so public abt ur intimate acts. then u're perspective to life is really narrow." yea, i guess ive now really come across as a super conservative dork who's jealous of other ppl because they're in a relationship.

well, the thing is, young ppl, starting even as young as since primary schools, are feeling the pressure to get attached, cos everyone around them are doing it and they'll really be left out if they dun have a boy/galfriend too. this is the evil fear of being rejected by their friends. also, probably the trend now is to have a so-called stead. if u dun have one, then u're unpopular and u're not cool. then there is also the possibility that the raging hormones are getting their way and ppl feel the urge to get intimate with ppl from the opp sex. well, watever reasons there may be, out of primal instincts or insecure feelings, this getting into a relationship thing while u're still so young is really pervasive across singapore.

sisters in christ! we must guard our hearts. it's easy for us to fantasize abt a certain tall, handsome knight in shining armour to come rescue us out of our current dismal situations but in reality it's different. true love exists but it's difficult to find it. and it wun do good if both parties got into a relationship just because they like each other in that special sense. if so, then it'll not be love which binds them together, but just a sense of wanting to be attached and wanting to be seen being attached. well, im not implying that true love can't be found when u're young. just that it's better to wait till a more mature age. otherwise, if u experience break-ups while u're still in a tender age, then ur heart will be scared. and when that one true guy comes along, u would have been left with just a fraction of ur heart to give him. now that wouldn't be very nice for ur husband.

oh, one more thing abt this topic. we're always looking for love. it's natural. and when we're attached, we may think that we're being loved and that we're so happy and satisfied. but ur search for love will never be successful and will never be over unless you finally find God. God made us in such a way that our hearts have a God-shaped void. without knowing Him, that void will never be filled and our lives will never be complete. how can a child not recognise or accept his Father? for some ppl they use substitutes to fill up that void, whether it's studies or work. but yet at the end of the day, u ask them why are they working to hard? what do they want out of their lives? then, u realise they can't really answer because without God, there is no purpose in life. even so, that purpose or that secret dream u've harboured, they are just distractions, from the real purpose God has for you. some ppl have everything but yet they have nothing because all the things they have, it all comes down to nothing in the end. take for instance, saddam hussein. He has such wealth and power to the extent that he had gold plated taps and that with just a command, disguised by an invalid excuse, any person in his country could just be put to death. yet, He's lost. He's a lost soul, a poor child, a desperate sheep. thinking he has everything, that he is God, that he's awesomely great for all the power he has and the wealth he possesss.

fortune and fame are just temporary possessions. u can't take them along with u after u die. relationships with ppl may not be constant. ppl can change. but God will never change. His love is constant and He's still the same even before He created the world. and He'll never ever change. e still loves u as a million years ago as compared to now. That's the love which He can give. Never changing, never wavering, even for a split moment.

well, i have God and my search for love is complete. ill rather feast on the holy spirit than on food. fill myself with His presense and love than be contaminated. many a times, we think we're unloved so we resort to all kinds of tactics to feel loved and be loved. but only God can give true, perfect love.