@!*&$%

2008-01-01T01:15:00.001+08:00

i've moved to livejournal. >>> http://miaochen.livejournal.com/

2007-12-25T01:24:00.000+08:00

What do most people think of christmas? Most likely, they will think that it’s just another season, another date, another yearly event. Most wouldn’t know the origins of Christmas and seriously in this present year and age, there are more appealing stuff for youngsters to be occupied with. Who would want to bother sitting through a boring service and going to a Christmas party where there isn’t lots of partying and lot’s of alcohol? The world thinks Christmas is a season for indulgence, indulgence in pleasures and desires, of the flesh and of the mind. However how long do the excitement and pleasure last? They dressed to kill, went there, told themselves they would rock the place that night, ended up getting lots of booze and vodka and other ‘get high’ drinks down their throats, went to dance and keep on the look out for hot guys and babes, waited and jumped at the chances to get intimate with each other. This is what the world thinks of Christmas, it’s all about the fun, the excitement and the merry-making. Well, no matter how ‘high’ they could get, how much pleasure they could derive from the things they did, it’s only temporary. The day passes into the 26th, the events sweep by like a mere memory, the shops remove their Christmas decors and things go back to normal. During this period of time, from Christmas eve to the actual day, are the things done by them worth it? Even if it’s for the slightest length of time, would they treasure it always, the immorality? Yeah you’re probably thinking right now that im just another preachy fellow who always want to insist her ‘holy’ opinions on other people and who always want to condemn others by saying how foolish the things they’re doing and how immoral are they. Well, God did not send His son to condemn the world, but to save the world through him (John 3:16). Btw, I saw this verse outside a Tangs outlet, ha. If you’re thinking, “ it’s as though we need such a person whom we don’t know even is fiction or non-fiction to come save us, please, I’m doing terribly and exremely fine on my own and with my own religion, and so I don’t need any of the so-called help that he’s offering.” Well, if you look at the trend since the 60’s to the present time you’ll know what I mean. There is a visible trend of people towards having less liberations about sexuality and about the moral values that they hold. What happened to the ‘no sex’ policy of moe last time? Well, now it has been changed to ‘safe sex’. People are having fewer reservations and more liberation. Of course, there are some who insist that there is nothing at all wrong with this shift in thinking, that they can indeed grow happier by having less reservations they hold in regards to other people. Then, what do they find after fling after fling after fling, no matter how much appeal it holds, it still doesn’t change the fact that it’s not going to be lasting! At the end of the day, it’s still loneliness for them to bear, no real love, no true shelters to stay in permanently, nothing which they can hold on for sure, nothing which they know will be absolutely unchangeable.

Some quotes to end this post off…

“God knows mankind. He knows that we’re too broken and to lonely to make the first move. That’s why he took the first step and became his sacrifice for us. He died for our sins and then later, sent out invitations to us.”

“God let His son get butchered so we can have life, and abundantly.”

“Christianity is more than a religion, it’s a relationship with God, a connection, a life journey.”

“The Christian faith is about God living in us, not about working to uphold the rules.”

“You can never think your way through God, you can only believe through Him.”

“Love makes a person vulnerable, the people you love the most are the ones who can hurt you most badly. The more you love, the more you might get hurt and rejected. That’s why we are afraid to give it all, afraid to take the first step.”

“Jesus came for the sinners, not those who are ‘good enough’. Like you go to the doctor when you’re sick, not when you become better first then go see him, same logic.”

And for my favourite quotes…

“How can I make God love me more?”
“It’s absolutely impossible. God loves us always, in fact, twice now from since He created us, after He bought us back at a price.”

There’s a story behind this favourite quote of mine, but I’m not going to recount the entire story. Let’s just think this way. You made something, an object. It can be anything, a necklace, a card etc. But what matters most is that you are proud of it, because you made it so beautifully. But then it got lost and naturally you get so heartbroken and devastated. Then, you found a chance to obtain the object back, but alas! You will have to pay a price to get it back and there’s no other alternatives! But then, you really love this object of yours, that’s why you feel that you must, definitely get it back, no matter what price you pay. Then after some intense efforts to attempt to get it back, you finally paid the price and voila! The object become yours again.

That’s why you love your object all the more, in fact twice more than it is in the beginning. You love it at first because you made it, and then you love it twice over because you bought it back.

People say that thinking about stuff like this is boring but I beg to differ. It makes all the difference in the world if you know that there is someone so great and yet still loves you that much.

2007-12-20T00:37:00.000+08:00

i want to walk down the streets not caring about the thousands of faces that i pass by/i want to swing my arms around/ jump up at random points and laugh like i've just seen the funniest joke ever/i want to act like an idiot in this endless phase of time where people always try to act smart/i want to do things my own way/using the method i'm most comfortable with/not caring about their opinions/just being concerned for myself and me only/i don't want to be controlled by any other person on earth/i want to stand alone on a hilltop/gazing down at the millions of lights coming from the earth's foolish inhabitants/seeing them get around slogging their guts out/all for a so-called comfortable life/i want to be a dime on a street/pick up a musical instrument and hope i'll become talented at it/go from street to street carrying my only means of survival with me/play whatever music i like to my hearts' content/it doesn't matter if it's not pleasing to their ears/they can laugh all they want/but i won't change my style just for them/ill look on the sea of faces with uncaring eyes and continue being a wanderer/going from district to district zone to zone/i'll find myself starving under the night sky/praying desperately for a hot bowl of udon/or just about anything that seems relatively edible/i'll not lose the chance to grab it/i'll find myself shivering when winter comes/with only a thin and tattered piece of excuse as a passable sweater to give me warmth or the lack of/i'll walk around among the many dark shadows finding the most deserted alleyway to spend my night/i'll chse the cats away and mark that spot as my temporary territory/i'll use the matches i've stolen earlier to strike up a decent fire/i'll place my hands over the blaze/not caring if i touch the flames/i'll sing a song of celebration/celebration for myself/celebration of the future that is yet to come/celebration of this carefree life that i lead/never once would i look back/never once would i find myself wondering 'what if'/i've taken on this route/it doesn't matter much now/regrets are reserved for idiots who can't make up their minds/i pride myself on being decisive/i'll forge on ahead knowing that i made the decision for myself only/not caring about others with others not caring about me/a lonely existence that may be/and most likely when i die no one would bother to bury my corpse/i would probably fade away under the hot sun/get treated like ordinary trash/maybe that's what i've always been right from the start/trash unworthy of this earth/trash which don't deserve a second glance/there would be no one there to mourn my death/along with the other wanderers of this earth/we would get ignored/no one pitying us and no one caring about us/but that's where the catch comes/who says we want to be pitied/who says we yearn for other human contact?/our existence is for ourselves only/the world spawned us they didn't follow through their actions/left us to fend for ourselves/to such a world i would much better be left alone to my own devices/they think they are superior/they think they're the best/they judge each other based on what they wear and how many certs they hold/im glad to be out of this vicious cycle/hypocrisy often finds themselves being passed down/from parents to children/i would have none of the problem/since i would love no one and no one would love me/after my walk on earth what comes of me next i wonder/whatever that is/i'm sure the people would not be of this sort/humans they would not be/perhaps they would be angels/perhaps i might even meet God Himself/i saw often when i passed by these little churches/those well-fed plump humans who sing to several octaves and let their voices be carried through the wind/is there really such a God i wonder/should i ever meet Him one day/i would most probably look up at him/for i think he would be rather tall and well-built/i would take a good look at him/especially His eyes for these are the only places where you can find people's most sincere feelings/i would tell Him what a world He has created/a world in which people kill off each other and fend only for themselves/a world where corruption takes its toll every single day/and a world which is too beatiful to house these lowly inhabitants called humans/i don't care about what his reaction would be/He would probably raise His big hand to smack me across the face for insulting His creation/i don't and would never care/this entire dimension of existence/i've lived and not found it's significance/i've lived and not found anything worthy to cling onto/i've been born having hope/but that hope was cruelly taken away from me/i've lived and lost/i've lived and still hasn't found the meaning to my existence/i've never left any imprints on people/even the places i've went to hold no evidences of me having been there/i've lived and yet not smiled/or rather i've not found any reason to smile/what do tommorow hold for me?/i'll never know/but ill live the way i've lived before/not caring/never complaining/just taking life's shits as they come along/sometimes succeeding sometimes failing/i'll never find the answers i've been looking for/and yet i would keep on searching/searching for that impossible holy grail/searching but not yielding fruits/that's the existence i'll lead/that's the life i've chosen/and i'll never have any regrets.

2007-12-17T22:51:00.000+08:00

gosh, im now hooked on NARUTO SHIPPUDEN!! it's way, way, way better than the first series of naruto and that's a surprise, as seeing how i became peeved at it for having so many filler episodes. the second series has better fighting scenes, is a lot more touching and is more humourous too. i simply love gaara, he's kakoii! oh and the opening and ending themes are really nice too.

as the days draw near
i tear my eyes away from the calendar
those that did better are my peers
in my head is the accumulating number
faster and faster it piles
towards the endless space
it causes my rise of bile
i could become a basketcase

haha, this is the situation for me right now, with me and my homework. xD

2007-12-16T22:20:00.000+08:00

Christmas is coming! And most people would associate Christmas with Santa Claus, the person they call the 'Father of Christmas'. I was really amused and surprised when P. Eugene became so agitated suddenly, saying that he really detest the folklore of Santa Claus. Well, it was understandable, seeing how Jesus Himself was left out in every Christmas season when people would rather celebrate this season with singing to welcome Santa Claus, leaving the rightful guest-of-honour. Even if there really are sayings that Santa exist in the far away lands of north pole, it still doesn't change the fact that it was all a mythical tale which were created way after the birth of Jesus. Christmas is actually the day in which Jesus was born, it was His birthday, yet people celebrate Christmas without knowing the actual meaning, of course all these has got to do with commercialisation and the likes. Do you know that if you rearrange the 'n' in Santa, it becomes Satan? It's really smart of the devil to implant in young children the tale of the Santa Claus, they would grow up always thinking about Santa in the Christmas season, never giving Jesus their attention at all. The birth of Jesus is not an ordinary birth, God even sent a bunch of angels to tell some shepherds about His birth, such was the effort that God took to tell the world of Jesus' birth, and what has it become today?

An anoynomous person wrote this letter, in the point of view from Jesus, about His most likely thoughts on that fixed day every year.

Dear All,

As you well know, we are getting closer to My birthday. Every year there is a celebration in my honor and I think that this year the celebration will be repeated. During this time there are many people shopping for gifts, there are many Radio announcements, TV commercials, and in every part of the world everyone is talking that My birthday is getting closer and closer. It is really very nice to know, that at least once a year, some people think of Me.

As you know, the celebration of My birthday began many years ago. At first people seemed to understand and be thankful of all that I did for them, but in these times, no one seems to know the reason for the celebration. Family and friends get together and have a lot of fun, but they don't know the meaning of the celebration. I remember that last year there was a great feast in My honor. The dinner table was full of delicious foods, pastries, fruits, assorted nuts and chocolates. The decorations were exquisite and there were many, many beautifully wrapped gifts.However, do you want to know something? I was not invited. I was the guest of honor and they didn't remember to send me an invitation. The party was for me, but when that great day came, I was left outside, they closed the door in my face .. and I wanted to be with them and share their table. In truth, that didn't surprise me because in the last few years all close their doors to me. Since I wasn't invited, I decided to enter the party without making any noise. I went in and stood in a corner.

They were all drinking; there were some who were drunk and telling jokes and laughing at everything. They were having a grand time. To top it all, this big fat man all dressed in red wearing a long white beard entered the room yelling Ho-Ho-Ho! He seemed drunk. He sat on the sofa and all the children ran to him, saying: "Santa Claus, Santa Claus" as if the party were in his honor! At midnight all the people began to hug each other; I extended my arms waiting for someone to hug Me and do you know no-one hugged Me. Suddenly they all began to share gifts. They opened them one by one with great expectation. When all had been opened, I looked to see if, maybe, there was one for Me. What would you feel if on your birthday everybody shared gifts and you did not get one?

I then understood that I was unwanted at that party and quietly left. Every year it gets worse. People only remember the gifts, the parties, to eat and drink, and nobody remembers Me. I would like this Christmas that you allow Me to enter into your life. I would like that you recognize the fact that almost two thousand years ago I came to this world to give My life for you, on the cross, to save you.Today, I only want that you believe this with all your heart. I want to share something with you. As many didn't invite me to their party, I will have my own celebration, a grandiose party that no one has ever imagined, a spectacular party. I'm still making the final arrangements. Today I am sending out many invitations and there is an invitation for you. I want to know if you wish to attend and I will make a reservation for you and write your name with golden letters in my great guest book.

Only those on the guest list will be invited to the party. Those who don't answer the invite, will be left outside. Be prepared because when all is ready you will be PART of MY GREAT PARTY.

See you soon. I Love you!

Jesus

http://sarimatondang.blogspot.com/2005/12/christmas-letter-by-jesus.html

2007-12-11T03:19:00.000+08:00

WHO KNOWS THE SONG WHICH GOES LIKE THIS,"MIRACLE... A BEAUTIFUL WORLD... NA NA NA NA..."??? LEAVE A COMMENT TO TELL ME THE SINGER AND THE TITLE OF THE SONG! GOSH, I WENT TO DOWNLOAD THE SONGS BY THE TITLE OF BEAUTIFUL WORLD BY COLIN, SARA JORGE, TAKE THAT, COLDPLAY AND DEVO BUT NONE OF THEM IS THE SONG WHICH I WANT!!!! ARGH.

btw, i highly recommend a j-drama which is KUROSAGI!! in 4 hrs' time, shall be leaving for indonesia to visit relatives, aww, shall miss my dog!

2007-12-09T19:34:00.000+08:00

whenever i watch a horror movie or are being told a horror story, at night, i would definitely not get to sleep and keep thinking about the images of the 'ghosts'. things around my room suddenly became ghosts overnight, anything dark and relatively long would be considered as their shadowy figures and i would not dare to take my eyes away from them, in case they come at me. even though i know that i'm imagining things and that i only became scared after my mind got stimulated about these stuff and so it isn't ghosts which are haunting me but instead it's only my restless mind keeping itself from sleeping. but the song below always helps to drive away my fear and after just singing it once i'm not scared at all.. after all, God is greater than anything else. truly it is only Him who can drive away all fear and provide comfort..

Come Holy Spirit (聖靈請你來) - City Harvest Church
Come Holy Spirit fall on me now
I need your anointing come in your power
I love you Holy Spirit
You're captivating my soul
And everyday I grow to love you more
I'm reaching for your heart
You hold my life in your hand
Drawing me closer to you
I feel your power renew
Nothing compares to this place
Where I can see you face to face
I worship you in spirit and in truth

聖靈請你來充滿我心
我需要你恩膏充滿我靈
聖靈啊，我好愛你
我的靈讓你牽引
而每一天我要更深愛你
我要追求你主　我將生命獻給你
牽引我更親近你　你大能更新我靈
無人能與你相比　主我仰望你的榮面
我要用心靈和誠實敬拜你

oh, and i know how to read the fan ti zi!! haha, im so proud of myself..

http://onecentlin.blogspot.com/2006/04/come-holy-spirit.html

2007-12-08T05:45:00.000+08:00

there's this recent case of molestation on my neighbour by a guy of african descent (i'm not cracking a rascist joke here). i get really angry when i think about all these people who have to go inflict harm on innocent parties when they can live perfectly fine in their own porn world by themselves. i mean, it is so unfair for other people to get scared just because of their selfish desires. they want to go have some hands-on, sure, go visit the prostitutes in batam and hopefully don't ever come back, but don't go try to have some fun terrorising other parties and getting off scot-free. what is the world coming to?

2007-11-30T23:49:00.000+08:00

why is it that when i let my mind wander, i tend to think of depressing stuff? i suppose there are actually alot of things which we can think to occupy our minds with but somehow there are just a lot more moody stuff which surround me. the happy things which are worthwhile to think about are just too few for me to focus on, so the unhappy parts of life tend to stand out more. i don't like to think of myself as an emo person because i think that's totally uncool, unlike what some others think, as what is the point to live on earth if you don't enjoy it fully? our time here is short, even more so as a youth so for what reason are these emo teems being emo for? to me,these people who put on a depressed face everytime, they are just childish people who don't know how to treasure their lives and who think that by not smiling at the wonderful things around them and appreciating them they are being cool. well, i definitely don't want to be that type of person. if it's possible, i want to be an optimistic person, always thinking on the side of a glass half full of water rather than one half empty. but, why is it so difficult for me to be happy these days?

i wouldn't understand it last time when i hear of people leaving church for some reason. i couldn't get it why on earth would people who had known the truth and accepted it to be so hardhearted as to leave church, and eventually God. but now, i think i'm beginning to understand it, if it's only just a tip of the iceberg. people whom you see every sunday, they can just be hi and bye friends. people who actually call themselves your sisters in Christ, within a turn of the minute hand, can become someone whom you've known only for a passing moment. why is it that we humans are cold towards each other? why can't people just see each other for whom they actually are, without jumping to false conclusions or stereotypes? well, i suppose if that really can happen, we won't be called human beings, but angels.

cell is interesting, with dunlin talking about sexuality issues. i think the moe can just invite churches to talk to the students about sexuality education. what i learnt during this single session of cell can fully overtake what they try to pass off as something important for every student undergoing puberty, haha.

just finished watching hanazakari no kimitachi and i must say that J-dramas are much much better than those taiwanese ones. they are alot less draggy and can pass off lame scenes as being hilarious.

sometimes i'm afraid of knowing the truth, about what are God's actual plans for me, because i'm afraid that it would be something which i won't like, which i wouldn't really expect. right now in jc, it's the same with everybody else, we enter jc because we are not sure what are we going to do for a living in the future, either that, or for some other minor reasons. when it comes to choosing what uni course to take or what career are we going to have, most of us don't have a clue. i admire those people who are sure on what they are going to be in the future. they have guts, visions and ambitions, all of which i don't possess or maybe i did in the past, but have lost. but whenever i think of this, i really am glad, just of one reason. it's because i have God in my life. well, to others i may sound as though i'm bragging and being full of myself or just trying to be pseudo holy but it's not that. it's because i recognise that as a single human being with weaknesses and the ever-present possibility to make wrong decisions for myself, it is not enough to be on my own. when we come to the major crossroads in life, it is really a relief if you know that you have God to guide you. God never fails, He is the one who started this entire thing known as the universe so i doubt He wouldn't know what we should do with our lives. He understands us the best as He created each of us personally and He can read our thoughts. He knows our inner desires and what we yearn for. so He must be sure of what course or what job would suit us most perfectly. that is God himself, who knows only righteousness and His love for us.

Dear God, left or right, local or overseas, you tell me. i trust you with my heart, like when you gave me your life at the beginning. when all else fails, i know that i can always turn to you, you an ever-present source of comfort and shelter, you my sanctuary. thanks for being there for me even when i pushed you aside, thanks for your unwavering devotion. i know i'm unworthy of your love but God, you have made me worthy. your hime. =)

http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/>> Nick's LIVE message at expo youth service 1.30 pm!

2007-11-30T00:13:00.000+08:00

This is the live performance of the song 'little wing' by JAM project. They look like they're really enjoying their time performing on stage. I swear i lose my worries for a while just by watching them perform, and my favourite part is when the turquoise lights come out, the entire feel is made so very different and so damn nice. i think they successfully got the feeling of being free and exhilarated down. Songs like these really make your life on earth worthwhile. If only I could download this song!!!

2007-11-29T01:44:00.001+08:00

I just love this song, it can make the day look just that bit brighter even when there's really a thunderstorm. Take That is the best boyband ever, even more so than backstreet boys!!

In contrast, the song below speaks of unrequited love. Since im a sucker for happy endings, i don't really like the contents but you have to admit, the lyrics are really beautifully written. Btw, Rivermaya is a band from the Philippines!! Cool, isn't it?

2007-11-27T21:34:00.000+08:00

That's it, I've just sworn off eating at the famous golden arches for the rest of my life, if i want to keep it that is. I just watched the 2004 documentary made in the US, 'Super Size Me' and I think i'm permanently traumatised by it. Who knows what devillish schemes they are trying to carry out by globalising Macdonald's and sprouting their outlets faster than you can say,"I've got a blocked coronary artery".

Everyone's favourite mcnuggets contain over 30 ingredients each. The most prominent is tertiary butylhydroquinone (TBHQ). It is an antioxidant derived from petroleum that is either sprayed directly on the nugget or the inside of the box it comes in to ‘help preserve freshness'. In fact processed foods are alot more damaging to the body than unprocessed foods, as admitted by Macdonald's themselves.

subway, anyone?

2007-11-24T21:41:00.000+08:00

It's difficult to please everyone simply because everyone is not each other and we are each unique individuals who hold our own views and have preferences of our own. that's why misunderstandings arise and conflicts occur. it's perfectly fine for someone to dislike another person but if you talk about that poor soul behind her back with your clser friends, that is definitely not right at all. other than the fact that it's very hurtful to the person being gossiped about, it is morally wrong to put the person in a bad light and everything without having the person to be there to defend herself, or to explain to the gossipers what things are actually like from her perspective. but i suppose gossipers start gossiping because they want to find some kind of comfort in knowing that someone else agrees with what she thinks about this particular person or if they are so chicken to confront that person face to face and tell her what exactly is wrong with her that makes her the target of slanderous words and untruths.

there is a thin line between gossiping and discussing about facts and i suppose the line between fine and morally challenging the boundaries is when you start to say your personal (and often very biased) views. i abhore gossipers. they are just a bunch of ppl who have nothing better to do and who hide from the real problem by not confronting the person, instead they get their small shallow hearts satisfied by slandering the person as and anyhow they like.

God Himself said, "Thou shall not bear false witness against your neighbor." (Exodus 20)

"A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret" (Proverbs 11:12-13).

http://www.gotquestions.org/gossip-Bible.html

2007-11-23T01:23:00.000+08:00

Ha, turns out that i would be acting in one of the skits for DRAMAFEST 2008! actually, i am just satisfied with being one of the crew, silently lending my help to the prominent beings in the spotlight. however, i'll be sharing the spotlight this time too! haha, i sound as though im crazed about it.. and i am!! i have never acted in a true skit before in front of an audience (unless u count the *ahem* good old days *ahem* when i was in ccs in sec 1) yea, although my role is really really small, just a grocer known as a 'grocer' with no other characteristic name at all, i'm still so happy and elated! i didn't count in the fact that i would actually want to perform on stage, somemore i volunteered that role myself, to exchange with someone else who's less interested than me (haha, michelle!) below is the scene, i have about 4 to 5 lines and im glad that i can participate as one of the cast and dun have to carry so big a burden like the main leads..

scene 6: The grocery

*James approaches the grocer counter*

Grocer: Hey, James! NOw that's a rare sight. I usually see your dear wife Joyce around here instead!

James smiles forcefully): Well... Yes. I was wondering if you have any rat poison for sale. The missus wants it. Too many rats around these days.

Grocer (frowns): And i always thought Joyce was a too tidy to have rats around. Ah, well... Proves you can't beat them all... Filthy rats... Strange.. I swear she came down jsut a couple of days ago to get some rat poison... Your house must be ridden with rats...

*James clears his throat*

James: The poison?

Grocer: Oh yes! Sorry.

*Grocer takes poison out from beneath counter*

Grocer: There you go. 5 bucks please.

James: Gladly.

*James leaves the scene hurriedly*

*stage cleared*

There! 4 dialogues in total! and if u count the second dialogue as having more than one line then i suppose i have more than 4 lines! whootssss!!!!! im such an easily satisfied human being. and im so looking forward to wearing the daudy and baggy grocer's clothes... i adi have the image i my mind.. a brown sort of baggy dress with an apron over it! haha! but the play is set in modern times so i suppose anything casual would do. either way, im extremely fine, haha. it's so terribly fine! and i pray that 07A01's PLAY WOULD BE THE BEST AMONG ALL THE PLAYS PUT UP, excluding that by the teachers, haha!what for you put in effort in doing something, if you dun aim to be the best?

oh, and i just heard some surprising news from an ex sec shool classmate. one of the chem teachers who has taught us before has been sacked.. well, i suppose you can't really expect a teacher whose unsure of even what he's teaching to continue to be allowed a teaching post.. but i kin of feel sorry for him, well, reminds me of the time when he heard students gossipping abt him and he got hurt and angry.. anw, nhh business is not my business anymore and i dun have anything to do with it other than the fact that it has served as a vessel for part of my education for four years of my life. seriously, i dunno whats wrong with chi schools and conventy and st. schools. in chi schools, you have these spastic anti-christ authoritative figures asking teachers to take off their necklaces with a cross pendant and in schools which are supposed to be teaching good morals and stuff, you have the highest abortion rate (i got this info from a fren in hc) and the students are like all trying so hard to be americanized, with the slang and everything and looking down on ppl unlike them and stuff.. as in we're still living in the victorian age with the different classes, funny.

cell advance in another... 10 hrs and 15 mins!! hope i will come out unscathed and sane.

2007-11-17T01:58:00.000+08:00

Is unforgiveness something you've been grappling with all this while? We may meet some people from our workplaces who just simply don't understand the meaning of irritating and obnoxious. Perhaps some of their actions have made us feel extremely angry or even hurt. They may have done it deliberately or unconsciously, but it still doesn't change the fact that they are simply some people on earth who either like to inflict hurt on other people and who take pleasure from others' pain (hedonistic, lol) or who does it without knowing that innocent actions on their part might hurt others around them. In whichever way it is, we cannot deny that we must have had some thoughts of unforgiveness and even ideas of taking revenge all these years in which we're living and interacting with people. We may not realise it, but constant feelings of unforgiveness can eat away slowly at our heart, preventing us from living our lives as we want. Should we want to proceed in our lives, we should not have any baggage pulling us back, and unforgiveness can be that obstacle which prevents us from going about our activites without anything hanging on our minds, eating away at our conscious. It can give us sleepless nights and cause us unnecessary stress. It can make us harbour thoughts of taking revenge on that particular person who always seem to make your life hell, or to a lesser extent, miserable. Well, whichever case, having unforgiveness in your heart is defintely not the kind of situation you want to be found in as it can be very time consuming as our mind revolves around the many unsolved issues we might have and it can cause us to be a negative person also. yeah and it won't be a nice sight if we walk around with a permanent black cloud following us around which threatens to rain on us every few minutes.

God created us not because He is a sadistic god who likes to see His own creations fight among themselves and try to kill each other off. He certainly does not want to see disharmony among family members and friends. God is just God as He is. He is willing to lay down His life for us, (although He wun ever die simply because He's God) because of the simple fact which many do not get it - He loves us. And that kind of love can only be found from God, you won't ever find it from a relationship with your other half, not even your parents. When we're faced with this perfect love, this amazing love which lasts forever, which is unconditional and which is selfless, forgiving someone seems easy. God's love can diminish all unforgiveness and all hatred, no matter how deep they are. But the tricky part is accepting His love for us. It is hard to acknowledge something which we can't even see. It's harder to believe in something which we can't see. But when we truly understand the extent of His love for us, His love would suffice, even at the moments when we feel most down. When we tell ourselves,"There is a god who is willing to lay down His life for such an unworthy me." Things would work out eventually and we would begin to even extend that same love, albeit it being on a smaller scale, to others, the people around us.

While we're facing unforgiveness towards someone, we could not come into terms with the fact that that person did something wrong, which we find simply unforgivable, which we
refuse to forgive because of our pride, because we often think," He/she is the one who did me unjustice in the first place so why should i forgive him/her?" Well, then going by your logic, God would have abandoned us already and just created a huge natural disaster or spread an epidemic to kill us all, because of all the atrocities we did and the blasphemous acts we did against Him. However, because of the grace which He had for us, He did not do so. In fact, He forgave us. Even in the face of excruciating pain, both physical and emotional, Jesus told His Heavenly Father,"Forgive them for they not know what're they doing." A heart as wide as His and grace as abundant as He has, for us who did such unpardonable acts, what else could we not forgive? Which act of our family members or our friends are simply that unforgivable that we harbour it in our hearts always, never willing to let it go? If the most major atrocities could be forgiven, whichever wrong doings could not be forgiven? We just have to come to terms with ourselves, maybe just as a last act pf spitefulness, tell ourselves that that person who did us unjustice does not deserve the time which we spent agonising on them, then simply know that the love of God is enough to fill our hearts with warmth and rid us of any remaining, stubborn feelings of unforgiveness.

2007-11-13T03:08:00.000+08:00

http://news.sg.msn.com/regional/article.aspx?cp-documentid=1094199

yeah, singapore's situation sure is different from the western countries like america and our people basically think that it's alright fer the govt to do whatever they want as long as we are having a good life, the rest, we choose to let it go and pretend they truly want our happiness over personal gains, lol..

2007-11-13T01:29:00.001+08:00

God is the one whom we can't see but we know for sure is there
He is the Creator who created the wonderful works of life around us
He blew life-giving breath into our otherwise soul-less shells
He gave us emotions, consciousness and the ability to trust and tell right from wrong
He gains his children not through fear and intimidation like false gods do
He guides his children through the stormy throes of their life
He provides protection for those who call out for Him
He comforts the down and shelters the weak
Without the desire for payment
All things He do He does out of kindness, out of thoughtfulness
Even when we turn our backs on Him
He doesn't give up on us
Even when we pray unto idols
He still remains by our sides
Never leaving, always willing and eager for us to turn back to Him
All for the desire for us to acknowledge Him, to love Him back like He loves us
Silent watcher, His grief no one knows
Yet He works constantly for us
Helping us in little ways we miss and take for granted
Oh dear dear God, You gave your entire heart to us
Yet we misplaced your love
Though the world will come to hear of your goodness one day
How long until that moment would that be?

2007-11-11T23:55:00.000+08:00

ok, after two sessions of hospitality duty, what after-thoughts do i have? hmm, the word 'hospitality' obviously is a pre-requisite itself. people on duty (esp the frontliners, which im stuck doing for two times) must be so hospitable that the moment they smile it would be like the sun is covered by dark clouds as their smiles are so radiant and mesmerizing thereby creating a traffic jam as people are paralysed by their smiles. well just joking ( and it's quite a lame one btw). the thing i learnt is," never to take other people for granted, esp those wearing the *cough*nice*cough* green and yellow vests. it sure is irritating when u greet people the best u can and they just walk by and ignore you. well, most ppl will smile back and i have to admit, seeing ppl smile back at u makes you even more enthusiastic to greet the others. and u've got to think that it's not too bad after all, if we could just paste a smile on peoples' faces, despite its briefness. anw, this is from someone who doesn't like to show any form of friendliness towards random strangers whom she doesn't noe, so, yea.

http://www.ventoline.com/frozenbubble/bustamove640.html > (in courtesy of our dear michelle) for a great way to while time away.. i cleared level 5 and was completely zonked out by then.

apparently, my iq, according to one online iq test is 128. and that's pretty much in the normal range so i guess i have to give up the underlying fantasy of mine that i could be a true genius with her capabilities concealed all these years after all. try it fer urself! > http://iqtest.com/

i am a zombie sitting in front of the com with a hunchback and fighting the laws of gravity on her eyelids. ill either pass out in a few moments or say goodbye to my faithful com and go visit dreamland. ill go fer the latter.

2007-11-07T17:40:00.000+08:00

i just finished watching the anime, scrapped princess! oh my it's such a great anime. the only unlovable thing about it is that it's too short! just 24 episodes! and why did fulle have to die??? i swear i emptied myself of a few kilograms of tears when he died. and im having problem downloading the soundtracks. they're really nice, esp the opening theme, little wing by JAM project.

i like immersing myself in alternate realities. it is when im watching anime (or reading manga) that i can get away from real life, albeit only for a few hours. if only things as described inside can be real, if only there really are worlds which run the way they do. different animes have different alternate settings and it sure would be interesting to experience them for myself as one of the characters! i dun have to be the main character just someone who happens to exist in that anime den ill be overjoyed already anw, i know what im saying now is really like crap. but that's the effect of animes on me, my head gets kind of fuzzy and i tend to think unrealistically. and i will have these 'what-if' scenarios in my head. like what if this didn't happen and what if sth happened the other way round. i will kind of get hung up over what happens in these fake settings that people create, rather than concern myself with real stuff happening around the world. actually, things in other parts of the world can be interesting too, although they are interesting in other ways. and they can get scary at times. if a war is started in real life, the fate of the people involved in the war is in the hands of the decision-makers and God too, i guess. no one else can have a hand in changing things the way they're happening, unlike in stories which we create. yes we can get sad for a while when upsetting thingshappened in stories but then that's when the line between reality and fantasies come in. we know when to stop deluding ourselves and when to snap us out of the upsetting things that happened in the storyline as after all, in real life, none of these things even exist.

my fave animes which ill die several times over to watch: full-metal alchemist, bleach, scra-prin, rurouni kenshin... there are alot more animes which i think are nice but the nicest are those with lots of drama and action. i dun like romantic storylines at all. following the love lives of average people (even though they can be beautiful) are so idiotic. that's why i like animes with dramatic effects and fabulous fighting scenes better, haha, not to mention that im kind of sadistic when it comes to gross things. anw why is it that i like playing gta (when all the sadistic killing comes) when im afraid of cockroaches? lizards are ok. they just look disgusting that's all but they dun exactly comes chasing after you and they only stay on the wall, as long as you keep away from the walls it's fine, oh, other than the disgusting sound that they make, they're really ok, at least they are tolerable. but cockroaches? they move a lot faster than lizards, they have an even more disgusting appearance than lizards (if that's even possible) and to top it off, they can fly. ok, im making them sound as though they are super heroes or sth but they are not, they are far from that. in fact they are the scum of the earth. i dun even understand why God created these gross things in the first place. meadows, forests, beautiful landscapes, interesting animals i understand but cockroaches?? other than going around and scaring people they really are the most useless living things on earth. oh, and dun tell me abt the benefits they bring to mankind by helping to decompose our waste materials and all that. living things which actually like living among the very foul things on earth have no worth mentioning at all. oh, and did i mention that they can actually live for a few weeks with their heads cut off? it's really amazing, for them to possess such a wonderful skill of survival, not.

this post is going nowhere. but sometimes i like writing this kind of senseless stuff, takes my mind off things, haha.

the entire world can be against you and you can still get the strength to go on from our loved ones but what if one day, the very people we thought are our friends decide to betray us? when that happens, will our definition of justice become blurred and will past history make us lose faith in the people entangled with our lives?

everywhere we go, there will always be politics going on. even among seemingly friendly people, there can exist pretenses and well put up facades, appearances of innocence, appearances of close relationships.but you cannot stop scheming minds from churning out evil intentions and motives. that's the sad thing that exist in civilised societies and we still dare to call ourselves highly developed and civilised? in schools, even stuff like backstabbing and malicious gossips happen and the worse is yet to come, when we go out to the real world to work. there, i suppose the game of survival of the fittest will take on a different meaning.

i saw an article on the govt controlled newspapers(and the only local one we had in singapore) some time ago. it is about the structure of english esays. since when we were in primary school, essays have been in a fixed stucture, intro, body and conclusion, or the intro, the elaboration and the conclution. yes, i felt much for this crappish rule that they had that's y i have to write this in my blog. i once wrote a compo based on the them gossip in an exam in sec 4 last yr. BUT i only got a passing rate. i enjoyed myself immensely while writing dat and i tout that i would get a great mark for it since it had witty humour in it, somemore, i think i had an interesting plot. BUT my essay didn't go through the 'normal' flow of what essays should be and hence the very disappointing grade. i was so so so so so disappointed LA!!! DAMN!!!!!! actually i dunno why am i feeling so agitated over sth which happened so long ago. i guess it's cos i got reminded of the fact that creativity can never be appreciated in establishments. furthermore, im just a young student who is not supposed to be entitled to any room for creating anything opposed to what the establishment has set. i still rmb the marker's comments, that i had written a flawless piece but then there's no proper climax, moral statement.. that kind of thing. BULLSHIT.

i seem to have written a long post. i doubt anyone would be interested in what i write but oh well, it's all for my enjoyment. haha!

www.reezalis.blogspot.com > another blog to put stupid personality tests and quizes.. i love wasting my time doing these!

2007-11-07T00:47:00.000+08:00

are the people of our country really like what the others say-stupid? our youngsters may be more concerned about their school life and the entertainment news but are they actually apathetic to politics? how about the grown-ups? do they really know what's going on around the country in the way we are being ran, or are they just pretending that everything is alright and that we shouldn't do anything to break this peace and prosperity. sure a maximum govt is different from an authoritative govt but it is only better than the latter by a fine line. what's with the salary increase of white collars? what's with the number of people recruited to run such a small country anyway? sure, God gave our leaders the right and authority to rule over us, to determine our happiness but sometimes it really is difficult to continue thinking that the ppl who run our country is really that great. they brought us independence and advancement into a first-world country but there could be further democracy, in the form of transparency. what's with the scandal regarding public donations? had the man who masterminded the whole thing got what he truly deserved? the extension of retirement age for our senior citizens, why is i that the more i think, the more i see it as a heartless sort of law. poor me, how long do i have to work exactly before i can finally retire and enjoy the fruits of my labour? and what do our dear white collars do? present their causes passionately to work towards the happiness of the people? not. sure, we enjoy a good life, but at the cost of what? i suppose, being dumbos in an enclosed world is pretty enjoyable too.

2007-11-01T04:30:00.000+08:00

storms seem the worst when u're going through it, but it doesn't mean that the sun will never rise. in fact, the sun will shine even brighter..

life is like a 'create your own adventure' story book, you just have to make the right choices. even when a step takes you in a bad direction, you can always make your own choices to make it right again..

after a tsunami comes the calm and we would never know when the next tsunami might strike again. but we can always make use of all the time we have to just be true to ourselves and be satisfied with what we have..

walking ahead towards the large expanse of road before us is always easier then having to retrace our steps and return. so it is always better to think carefully before we do/say anything in case we have any regrets..

the moon looks so bright up there in the night sky but have anyone wondered whether it is lonely at all? not everything seems as perfect as it seems on the exterior, same goes for people, you would never imagine the inner struggles a seemingly perfect person might have..

having to walk at a faster pace than our legs could carry could prove to be disastrous. do only what your legs are capable of and dun overstimate yourself.. but keep on the look out for opportunites to sprint..

im trying to be philosophical here, but i think the end product is somewhat corny. haha!

2007-10-30T16:49:00.000+08:00

Being cast in an unfavourable light
No rooms for defense, no chance for objection
They threw him mercilessly into the cell
Using a false excuse, all for this purpose
To tear him down, to hear his cry
All while being the angelic victims
Halo still atop their heads
They looked harmless, even helpless
But beneath those weak and pitiable exteriors,
No one else knew
No one bothered to understand, to listen to his side of the story
The judgement is passed
The punishment is set
Without a fair trial
Time flew by during the persecution
They couldn't bear for the execution to be held off further
They can't afford for their cover to be blown
Their motives to be exposed
And after the cells are locked tight
When means of escape were sealed shut
While the champagnes flowed all night
No one remembered him.
ALone, suffering in his cell
Not taken of his speech
Just being robbed of his chance to speak
Since no one was willing to hear his story anyway.

2007-10-26T00:42:00.000+08:00

it's hols for me already!!! i only went to school for 1 day this week and that's the last day of school, hahaha.. but there's still the idiotic op at 3 pm. somehow, i dunno if we're all heading in the right direction, having a pw tutor like that, somehow i couldn't respect him as a teacher, sorry for saying that but i can't stop myself from thinking that, haha..

DRAMA FEST IN JJC!!!! our class 07A01 is presenting a skit with a great script, with cerdits given to our dear victoria!! i like the script, think it's not too corny, manageable, has a meaning and most importantly, it is a TRAGEDY!!! BWAHAHA *evil laugh* somehow, ppl just loove tragedies, why is dat?? oh, and my role is to be the table, haha!! nah, just the backstage person, im not cut out to act, be it a stupid tree or what, haha.

man, i just love the muttons, they are sooo funni.

2007-10-24T00:37:00.000+08:00

I was doing sth else entirely when this thought came into my mind, or rather I remembered that someone once commented this before, must be that psycho wire hair again. Is the concept of Christianity the same as communism? In communism, u have all people, regardless of their individual interests, acting as one body, for the sake for one person or aim. Individuality is forbidden and everyone is brainwashed into thinking that what they’re doing is for the sake of the better goodness, that what they’re doing is pleasing to the eyes of their mighty ruler. All these is actually similar to Christianity! Oh my, I didn’t noe that im a dog of the communists as well. Someone help drag my true self out of this disillusioned, heavily hoodwinked brainless mind of mine.

In Christianity, Christians think that Jesus is their rightful king, that he has the right to govern over their lives, that he is a completely perfect being, that what he tells them to do must be right. They put the interests of other people above theirs, they give thanks to their king and take it in their strides when they meet with mishaps, saying that god is testing them, strengthening them. Selfish ambitions are unheard of in true Christians as they strive to please god’s eyes. All in all, aren’t Christianity just like communism, the only difference being that one is a religion is thus does not affect people that much as the latter, which is a political dominance that once ur country is infested with it, its game over?

I saw this video once in north korea. Oh my, the poor people. They are like so totally brainwashed. Even when the doctors heal them of their blindness (which is a common suffering there), they thank their rulers instead of the doctors. In a father and daughter’s much emotional gratitude, they even went to kneel in front of the portraits and keep thanking them, saying long live our rulers that kind of thing. Man, it makes me wonder, what a terrible fate for one to be born into a communist country. All their lives they noe nth abt the outside world, nth further than their little closed shell. They happiness, their distress, their entire lives, from since they were born till they die of poor welfare entities, all depend on a few people. I wonder, is it fair for just a few people to hold this much power in their hands? And they dun even give a damn about the millions of people who shed tears over their actions everyday!

Does being a Christian rob one of his or her own identity (oh gosh, Stephen dedalus)? I believe so, in a way, it is true. However, unlike communism, Christians follow their king out of their own wish to do so, they are certainly not being forced. (how can u force a person to believe in sth anw, without using lies and half-truths, and Christianity sure isn’t sth based on that) Much unlike what the majority thinks, Christians are definitely not being brainwashed. I guess ppl have this kind of notion because of the way Christians view their leaders such as their pastors and the heads of the churches. They hold them in respect and actually trust them and what they say. Maybe it’s because of this simple faith that ppl mistake for foolish subservience and naivety. Take me for an example (although I can’t stand in for all Christians), for me to believe in sth, I need to see sth concrete, or at least, read or hear stuff that comes with concrete evidences, such as real-life accounts of various ppl. Without all these, asking me to believe that god is real even though we can’t see him is like telling me in a convincing and serious manner that pigs can indeed sprout wings and fly. If there are indeed that many ppl, not just a small handful but millions of ppl around the globe who claim that God is real, then there must be sth which is true for them to say this. After all, dun tell me that so many ppl are that brainless to believe what someone else tells them.

And the most imp thing of all, is that chirstianity is all about love. Yes, love (and in case some of u are straying away, it’s father-children innocent love thank you). In fact, it stems from the love which god has for us. Then what is the reason for him to create us for? We are not lovable, we destroy things, we are monsters in beautiful exteriors and we snub our very own creator. The only reason is that He truly loves us, that’s y he created us. He definitely doesn’t need us to complement Him for He is as powerful as He is already and He definitely didn’t create us because we bring him delight, far from it, we bring Him sadness and miseries. We couldn’t be a more stubborn bunch of living things anywhere else, who become caught up by our own lives, ignore the hard truth surrounding us and who so adamantly refuse to ‘be taken in’ as we so wittily put it.

this is a product of my random thoughts.. haha. doesn't it ever strike u that it's wonderful that God gave us minds of our owns? He could very well made carbon copies of himself minus the invincibility and power. We would all abide to his wishes and everything, but yet He didn't so. so it's a great thing really, to have minds of our own, we can think all we want, let our imagination roll a thousand miles before coming back down to earth and it's what that sets us apart from each other! the great thing is, despite all our freedom to think all we want, do whatever we want, it's still possible to come back to God, taking into account the thing that there's this conviction to make us do so. =)

2007-10-23T17:34:00.000+08:00

rachel pek is priceless.. first thing she said to me over msn is, "Welcome back to civilisation." thanks, for implying dat im living in a cave all this while.

was sick today so didn't go to school but dat's all well by me, i would jump at any chance just to slack at home.

to a certain somebody (if you're reading this), pls change ur entire inr, or at least 99% of it, because dat's MY WORK! there is a certain limit to the amount of crap a person can take and somemore, im not a saint! btw, no hard feelings intended.

it's true that when u stray from God, as in stop praying for days straight, u'll find it hard to come back on track. has my high on God ended?

i need to sort out my school stuff but the sight of seemingly neverending piles of stuff from the past yr could really give one the dreaded creeps.

just wondering, what will happen when A levels are over, when its really time to stop wallowing in the sheltered haven of uniforms, books and academics? where will we go from there? hell, i don't even noe what is His plans for me.i hope it wun be too big of a shock though.

btw, im really, really proud to be in the arts stream. yeah, the only 'useful' subject seems to be econs and maths and my maths is like only H1 so ya. and i noe too of this thing about singaporeans, that those who go into the arts stream go there because they cannot go to the sci stream and so arts stream is the next best option should they want to be in a jc. yea, students of the sci stream have lots more choices of courses in uni and also plenty more job options. they would be able to snare the highest paying jobs such as architects, engineers blah. first day of primary school, what do your mama tell u? study hard, get good grades, which has the underlying meaning of 'graduate as as a uni student, get a good job, grab those promotions, stay rich and from there, find happiness from wealth comforts'. well, i dun give a f*cking damn abt dat. how can singaporeans be so pragmatic? is being successful in the workplace such an imp thing? i dun get it with this screwed up mentality. anw, ignore this part, it's just senseless rantings.

btw, how to get an A for gp? super impossible.

2007-10-22T21:36:00.000+08:00

i got my internet back adi! apparently sth was installed wrongly dats y, well i dun understand all these stupid it stuff and i can't be bothered with them! haha, just give me a com with fast internet access and dat'll be fine..

i wrote some super emo poemsweeks before, i shall share one with the few ppl who bother to read my blog..

Isolation
Isolation has never been that real before
I thought it only applies to others
People who are always in the background
Their problems don't concern me
Now i truly noe exactly what it's like
Away, far far away form the crowd
Standing alone in a dark corner
With no one there except an unseen person
Yet the loneliness seems so great
It seems to be driving that very person away
They were merry-making, having fun
Creating stories of their own without me in the picture
Me, i'm merely the quiet observer
Invisible, gaining no recognition
I try to assimilate
By faking my smiles, my laughter
Yet dissociation seems to be my permanent fate
Breaking free is futile
My strength has run dry
Reaching the brink of hopelessness
I locked myself in and cemented the only exit
This place is bleak and holds no joy
Yet im willing to be here for eternity
At least i woulod be spared from all harsh realities
Set apart from others by the very remnants of my misery-savaged heart

and here's another one..

Is there an alternative way out?
Who destined my fate for me?
Who is the one who drove me to my desperate end?
The pitch darkness holds no joy for me
I see no promise of a future
The circumstances have led to this
I thought i had a choice but i was wrong
I had been forcibly kidnapped here
From my precious place of satisfaction to this ever-penetrating grim
At this stage I had only fate to blame
It's not me with the rottn ways and hardened heart
Fate is the culprit who tempted me and caused me to land in this state
Now it has left me with no choice again
What otehr way is there for me?
The answer is obvious to the blind
I took another step forward
Only bracing myself for the unbearable darkness again.

do ppl really change when they advance to another stage of their lives, when they finally get to savour the richness of the grass from the higher lands? or more specifically, do ppl change when they graduate and move on to a new school, esp a prestigious one? i suppose it varies from case to case and i really dun wan to think bad of anyone. yupps dats all. oh it's time for muttons to midnight! yea, love justin's voice. haha..

2007-10-16T09:41:00.000+08:00

promos has long ended and ive gotten back my results last week. and im going to get promoted to J2! YIPEE! WOOTS! and i tout im going to retake my hist paper, turns out that i dun have to retake it at all! THANK GOD.

currently playing crazy taxi on psp.. planning to exercise but procrastinating seems to be in my blood.

i really really want to sleep early like around 12 but why do i always seem to be able to sleep at at least 2 am?

went to k with rp, sarah, yz, ivy, wn and sh. and it was so FUN.

btw, this is a really short post. ciao.

2007-10-06T16:53:00.000+08:00

im going to start writing this first post of mine since a long long while by saying that my promos are over!! and i think im quite satisfied with how i fared although i can't be sure abt history. now, ive a complaint which i must get out. why is it that we arts students have this weirdest exam time-table? both econs and hist on the same day? granted, we have 3 days including the weekends to study for both subjects and there are 4 hours of break in between the two papers, but didn't it occur to their brains that the students might be dead tired after mugging for the two heavy subjects to be able to cope with the papers? imagine having to write 6 essays in a day! there may be geniuses who can write essays continuously without experiencing a brain-drain but not me. i just feel like taking a rest there and then in the middle of my sea hist paper! my poor right hand, i can practically hear its protests when im forcing it to continue writing. and i slept at 3 am so i only had at most 4 hours of sleep before i attempt the long day of papers. and i seriously think, no, i already know that im going to retake my hist paper. only a miracle would be able to let me get away with a mere passing grade this time.. but there's still my ct marks so it'll probably level things up, but i wun bank on that.. ok, my downfall started when i began to study for the jo qns when i already knew that that qns was set to kill idiotic students who even thought of attempting it. i haven't studied pre-war before so that's the only choice left. because my brain does not have enough intelligent grooves to be able to tackle the qns successfully, i ended up realising ive been going in the wrong direction half an hr into my writing it. and that's even after some mins of planning. then the usual exam stress began to poke its way through and create a mess on my nerves, i ended up writing 1 ga and 2 cs only. the truth is that i didn't complete my essay not because there wasn't enough time. if only i knew how to write it, then i would have probably written more of it. but since my small brain is made weary by that sickening ass who planned that time-table and since i tend to get a bit anxious at times, i found that i wasn't able to carry on writing. i just can't find any points for me to write. its that pathetic, both the essay qns and me, yupps. but since promos is already over i dun think it would be wise to be still harbouring over a lost cause. at least i can be sure that i wun be alone when i retake hist paper. i wun be that unfortunate to fail it the sec time!

going to buy the psp card tmr with meechay after service tmr, yeah! ive made a long list as to the various enriching activities i should be doing after my promos but for some reason i dun have any intentions of carrying them out. call me a lazy bum but i would like to think myself as a poor depraved person who couldn't live any further without her daily addiction of tv and com, esp after slogging her guts out for her exams. bwahaha!

one more thing before i retreat back to my fantasy world, it feels so weird to be posting on ur blog when u get the feeling that no one reads ur blog, or is it for a fact already? argh, and to think i spent some precious mins of my time writing them! well, i guess there are other more enjoyable stuff to be doing besides blogging, such as letting myself immerse in the fantasy world of anime. so long!

2007-09-10T09:56:00.000+08:00

Ok, my internet connection is still down, this is the problem you get with wireless networks.. i suspect there's a virus or sth. now ive to resort to using the school's com to post one pathetic post here otherwise i can just leave my blog to rot.

didn't go for service ytd since i overslept and woke up at 1230. haha.. heard about this confessions of mother theresa. they dug up her diaries and published it. how mean can it get? it turned out that she had been doing all that humanitarian work for the last 30/40 years of her life, not knowing whether God existed or not. she couldn't sense his presence any longer and it came to a point when she even thought that there wasn't a God! yet she still continued and that, i think, is truly marvellous. without knowing whether what she's doing is really worthwhile, she still went on ahead. this goes to say that even when you can't feel His presence and when you get so sick of people saying that you have to be still in order to hear his voice and all that, there is still no doubt that He exists! yes, even when we can't see, hear, feel Him, He's still there, undoubtedly. that's why having faith is difficult. how could you still believe in someone when there is no hard proof that he is even there?

Jesus has a very special love for you. As for me, the silence and the emptiness is so great that I look and do not see, listen and do not hear.
— Mother Teresa to the Rev. Michael Van Der Peet, September 1979

what better way to prove your point than to present evidences which would inevitably lead to the unthinkable truth? the case for christ (sth mentioned during cell) is a book which people should read if they find that they couldn't and wouldn't be able to accept the fact that Jesus Christ is truly the son of God, not just a lunatic who died on the cross for fun. intelligent people, if they have the patience and the heart to really find out if Jesus really existed and if he did, did he really disappear from the tomb and everything blah, then im sure that whatever methods they use, the outcome would always be the same, that Jesus has indeed been resurrected. what's important is not that He died for us, what we should remember is that He became alive! that then, is the amazing truth...

i seriously need to reorganise my life, recently i feel that my thoughts are all jumbled up and is it possible for a person to feel sad and happy at the same time? mian, i need to get a grip on myself. and there's a gp content based test today and I DIDN"T NOE ABT IT, dat's cos i didn't bother to write it down in my small and very insignificant notebook which i dun even noe what for did i buy it in the first place if im not using it..

i wonder if there are actually ppl who read my blog.. think im getting a new one, one that is anoynomous. haha.. to all the ppl who reads my blog, thankyeu so much, i feel so honoured.. tag pls?

2007-08-15T00:53:00.000+08:00

100k blessings is over! and we prayed blessings for 108,835 people! who says it's about meeting a quota? true compassion comes from Him and only Him.. i crave for His heart!!!

promos a month away? and ive officially failed two subjects! maths and econs suck!

2007-08-11T22:32:00.000+08:00

2007-08-08T22:41:00.000+08:00

went to watch secret.. and it's like so so nice. from the pictures they show, u get the feeling that this is another long mv of jaychou with no surprises, like a typical high school romance between two music students.. ha, but it's really nothing like a typical romance flick..

the first part of the movie is bo-bo-ring... just the things which jay and his girlfriend do.. like ferrying her on the bike to her home, playing the piano together and eating apples.. but then there are suspicious points start to pop up, when xiaoyu missed school for days at end and that she was always popping up from the old piano room without attending lessons. when asked, she said that she's praticing.. but then a misunderstanding occurred and xiaoyu ran away, she then didn't go to school for 5 months. initially jay went to find her but somehow she just seemed to have vanished.. strange things occurred then such as the realisation that jay's friends can't see xiaoyu as they saw him dancing by himself, then something quite freaky happened as jay was sitting at a desk and crying in confusion and agitation, as past memories came flashing, like the times when it was obvious other ppl couldn't see her.. then came some words written using liquid ink in the desk... it's like someone was writing on the desk but there was no one.. the words just appeared being written by some invisible person.. the words read," i'm xiaoyu.. i love you.. do u love me.." then after each line jay used the liquid ink which his frens gave him earlier to write his replies..my heartbeat got even faster as the liquid ink began to run out, before he could finish his reply to the last line, in desperation jay just dotted a heart. but after that nothing happened.. leaving jay confused and crushed.. pieces came together when xiaoyu's mum compared jay to the drawing that xiaoyu drew before then strangely she went," i should have believed her..." she gave jay a photo which she took with her teacher, which is jay's father.. he looked younger then he was presently.. jay's father told him the story of xiaoyu.. she was a student of his twenty years ago and one day she confided in him something which has been bothering her for aome time.. out came the story which explained all the strange things that happened.. actually xiaoyu was someone from the past, 20 years ago. one day she found a hidden score under the old piano while she's picking up her inhaler.. the score was titled 'secret'. she opened the book and saw some kind of poem.. she played the score and while she was playing, things in the piano room moved, like a lot of time has passed and things were moving according to the changes of time.. like there are more dust and the building got older.. then she realised that she has come to the future.. then she heard someone coming and so she went to keep the score at a high place using a ladder.. jay came into the room then as he being a new student was exploring the building with the piano rooms.. that was the first time they met then.. xiaoyu then went into depression mode as jay's dad told the story xiaoyu told him to the class monitress even after promising her that he would keep that as a secret.. xiaoyu shared her secret of being able to visit the future when she played the score 'secret' but yet he betrayed her trust.. her classmates started teasing her then and everyone thought that she had gone psychotic.. with her mum blaming her dead hasband for him telling her that learning music makes one elegant and their child has become like this.. thus xiaoyu locked herself in the house for 5 months, refusing to go to school and so couldn't go meet jay in the future.. after jay's dad finished the story and before he could give the score to jay to let him take a look..he realised that jay has disappeared.. he has gone to the old piano room, which is in the building the ppl are demolishing right then.. jay then played 'secret' in the old piano room using the same piano which xiaoyu used to travel between different times, while the building around him were being demolished.. jay's dad had turned the pages of the score and then found something which xiaoyu had written, addressing that message to ye xiang lun, which was his son! thus he knew of the truth and ran all the way to the school even though he was breathless and his heart hurts.. jay succeeded in time, and he went back to the past, before he aws killed by the demolishing equipments..he saw xiaoyu and apparently, that was before xiaoyu came to possess of the 'secret' score.. the last scene was a photo, a class graduation photo, then the scene zoomed into the two figures standing side by side, xiaoyu and jay.. so actually jay went back in time to xiaoyu's time and stayed there, while he went missing in his time, 20 years later.. this movie was a really good one.. i agree with yj that jay was really smart.. he thought of the plot by himself... and the movie was well shot too... who said that this was a vanity project of jay's? he totally had it, i would recommend this to everyone.. like he said, there really was a twist at the end...

went to the day of his power at singapore indoor stadium after that.. whoa there really are a lot of ppl.. some photos..

watched the national day parade on tv.. somehow when the men in white and the president came out, in all that awe-inspiring presence and get-up, i can't feel any admiration for them at all, while fer previous years i always thought that wow, singapore's really fortunate to have them as leaders to guide us and protect us.. but since coming to jc and learning about history and lit, ive opened my eyes to the 'communist' side of the ppl hu govern sg.. furthermore my uncle, anutie and father are discussing about the various things which they hide from us.. what the media choose to broadcast and what they shy away from.. i suppose i understand somehow when my father says that any person in the right mind would support the oppossing party, at that time, i thought that no, our present govt is the best there could be, after all it's lky's party! u can't deny that he really is a talented person who truly has sg's welfare at heart.. auntie and uncle returning to hongkong and perth tmr.. anw, ive decided to get a psp after promos.. i have to get it.. but heard that there's this psp slim.. hmm.. i should save up as much as i can.. im, unfortunately, not one of those ppl who could get whatever they want on the spot from their rich parents.. hmm, think i'll be going for the black one.. pink is totally out, it's a nice colour but this colour is like so bimbotic, i just can't relate pink to gaming gadgets..

2007-07-24T00:26:00.000+08:00

http://www.christianpost.com/article/20070723/28572_Taliban_Again_Extends_Deadline_for_Korean_Christian_Hostages.htm

God will do righteous.

2007-07-23T15:11:00.000+08:00

i can't believe i only finished reading the book on sunday. kill me. i was feeling a bout of dizziness on sat and i had to go all the way to pasir ris for sth so i didn't get to spend even a few solid hours reading the book. but all the better, so the time for me to know the ending would seem to be lengthened, and the anticipation in me would still be growing strong.

CAUTION!! SPOILERS AHEAD!!

this book is distinctly different from the rest of the 6 books. however, as the books should get darker progressively, i don't think this book is the darkest. whereas in the past, voldemort seemed to be elusive and to harry, he's like this big, powerful, scary and mysterious enemy. but in the HALLOWS, harry had grown to be even more attached to voldemort's soul and he saw more and more 'visions' belonging to voldemort. towards the end, he could even choose to see voldemort's mind and he finally learned to close his mind against the dark lord. in a way, harry knew what voldemort's up to and he could counteract against whatever he was plotting and also know what is it that voldemort wants exactly.

the deathly hallows.. whoever has them could defeat death, which means to say he's invincible, second to none. there was the symbol of it on xeno's robes, on the cover of the book dumblesdore willed to hermione and carved onto a wall of the durmstrang's school. it was on the orange china-made paper bag which came together with the book too. the stick represents the elder wand, the circle the ressurection stone and the triangle the invisibility cloak. harry had already had the cloak and it was unique to no other. the other two hallows seemed at first to be impossible to exist to ron and hermione but harry kept thinking about it. when he was generating ideas about where are their locations and the possibility that dumbledore wanted to lead him to possession of all three hallows, he became like another person, uncompletely alike to harry at all. he bacame obsessed with the hallows and even thought that this two companions are being obsessed with the horcruxes when he was, actually, the one who was obsessed with the unnecessary, which is the desire for power and invincibility, as did dumbledore when he was his age. his deductions were right, that voldemort's after the elder wand and that he himself might have already possessed of the stone. but fortunately, he was brought back down to earth later, helped by hermione's ever practical mind. it was a good thing, for if harry had been carried away further, he would have become like many of the many historical wizards before him, who spilled blood just for the sake of the dangerous elder wand.

these are my votes for the various scenes..

most favourite scene:
when voldemort finally died and all the people present at the great hall erupted into cheers of pure jubilation. finally, voldemort has met his end. finally, no more bloodshed and fear for the wizarding community. the dark lord has finally, at long last, been vanquished by the destined boy, the boy who lived. but i was still a bit disappointed when there wasn't a part whereby voldemort realised his mistakes, where he went wrong. he just plopped dead like that, without any knowledge of his errs and any understanding of love and remorse, which was what he lacked, right till the end of his life which he so treasured.

most touching scene:
when snape, just before he was about to die, he wanted to look at lily evans, before he could not do so any longer, just for the last time. and he told harry," Look... at... me...", for the only part of harry with his mum's trace was his brilliant green eyes. that's like so touching! although i didn't know why he said that at first, but after the pensieve scene of snape's thoughts came, i was reminded of the last words of snape.

most heart-lifting scene:
the drastic change in Kreacher. he actually became a real house-elf for once, doing all the housework and taking care of the 3 as good as he can. to see such an incorrigible and beyond-hope being turn into someone brand new, it's definitely a bright cheer to the otherwise gloomy prospects facing the trio. he also wore sth clean, instead of hanging on to his old and dirty rag! also, quite amusingly, he led the elves of hogwarts into the battle with voldemort's dark forces. that's quite comical too. haha..

scene with the most anticipation:
the one when dumbledore came to talk to harry in his mind, when harry thought they were at king's cross. voldemort had just killed his second last horcrux, the part of his soul which was clinging onto harry's. it was also when harry could choose to leave with dumbledore and 'board the train', instead of returning to the battlefront. im not clear on what had just happened and adding on to this, there was the unknown still out there, waiting for harry to come around and go back to reality.

the most fast-paced, exciting scene:
the one whereby harry was captured by greyback and some snatchers back to the deatheaters' base, the malfoy's home. voldemort was coming back swiftly, and harry still had to defeat the deatheaters and save his friends. time seemed to be priceless and what's worse, hermione was being tortured by bellatrix using the cruciatius curse.

the most anti-climatic scene:
nineteen years later. everything was normal and serene. but it was too normal and serene. no mention of any further thoughts regarding voldemort. peaceful and tranquil. yet i was itching to know more about harry's past, the intervening years before the book very abruptly fastforwarded to nineteen years later. so much rowling didn't mention and i felt that it wasn't enough. oh well.

most miserable and upsetting scene:
when ron left harry and hermione just like that, leaving them behind in the mission they promised to undertake together and running off to somewhere comfortable himself. and for the next few weeks, harry and hermione were in the depths of their gloom, with the fall-out of ron like that.

most surprising scene:
when it was revealed through sanpe's memories that he had, in fact, loved lily evans long before james met her, when they were both children. that's like so shocking. and i thought, from the ORDER that he hated her when he called her a mudblood. what a dramatic turn in the linkages batween characters. so unlikely.

most heart-warming scene:
when harry used the ressurection stone and brought back his parents, sirius and lupin. their presence alone gave him courage and he didn't even need patronuses to pass the dementors.. it's like they stuck to him until the end, and didn't stop giving harry their support, letting him know that he's not alone..

who died in the end? in order of deaths..

mad-eye (well, i dun feel any affection for him in the first place, so..)
hedwig (though she seemed to be the first)
dobby (i cried when he died)
fred (oh no, what about the weasley's wizarding wheezes?)
tonks and lupin (poor teddy lupin for being an orphan so early)

GREATEST DISAPPOINTMENT with the final book..
i was expecting a more tragic ending, one with harry dying and so he and ginny couldn't get together and she had to live with that sadness for the rest of her life. it's depressing, should the book end off tragically. but this is a book which i had thought to be dark and twistful... never did i think it could be twisted into such a happy ending. yeah, ppl still died, but harry and his company still managed to lead happy lives of their own! i guess, it being a children's book initially and primarily...and they lived happily ever after still applies..

2007-07-21T02:15:00.000+08:00

king lear is.... throughout almost the entire play, i dun have an inkling of wat they're talking about.. that's british accent and old shakespearen english for you.. but the story is indeed a tragedy, it moved me, just short of having my tears..

cell sisters had street blessing on fri, big clash with my king lear play. yucks, why can't the play be like on sat, so i can go too. heard from kelly ah ma that shermaine and the others prayed for some jjc students at choa chu kang and they received Christ. i am so excited. must find out who they are...

priscilla said that i look as though im a twenty-yr old on fri, and im glad that just for once i can look mature, but the moment i open my mouth and do those funny expressions then the game is up.. haha.. but it sure was interesting to see the others all dressed up. =)

common test is coming real soon and i really dun wan to do last min work. to finish reading 19 chapters of great expectations and the whole of the portrait are already killing me, i just can't find the time to read them, and there are 2 other h2 subjects too.

argh, can't stand it anymore. 230 in the morn already, and i even have to wake up at 615 fer HARRY POTTER!!!! omg, how can anyone contain the excitement!! im just going to squeal together with ro when we finally lay our hands on the book.

2007-07-19T22:43:00.000+08:00

ok, i really have to blog about this. this is like so maddening.

apparently someone has already leaked out BOOK 7 to the internet. He has an advanced copy of it and photographed it, sent the pictures to bittorrents. and ppl can already check who is the one who died exactly.

and at first i didn't believe it! i thought how can it be when according to time mag, they went as far as to print the books in the dark so no one would read them! but then it's really true.. they reported it on reuters news:

http://www.straitstimes.com/Video+News/Entertainment/STIVodcast_2201.html?playid=2201&type=Top

poor jk rowling.. but i suppose all original creators of any forms of work have to suffer this depressing thing.. but somehow i feel more for them now dat my HARRY POTTER has been violated.. who is that person who leaked it out? what can he/she get? money from bitstorrent? well, i got a copy of it too, the first ten chapters, from a friend. and im definitely not going to read it at all!!

RESPECT JK ROWLING!!!! and come on, unless u're really poor and have to live on biscuits and water every day, there is no such excuse as saying u dun have money to buy the book! save up if u have the sincerity! and no one can deny that it feels a lot better when u're actually holding the book in ur hands, which is smelling of sweet new printed paper and when u can actually experience the sheer thickness of the book. the feeling is different than when u read on the screen!

21st JULY! i can read the whole of the book now but im not going to! wat a disgrace to a HARRY POTTER fan, to even start reading it later than the others.. maddening.. argh!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-07-18T20:43:00.000+08:00

went back to nhhs today with some others to get o level cert. thank God they still haven't sent them to moe yet. haha..

HARRY POTTER movie is not as nice as i expected. well, it's weird from the beginning when the thickest book is made into the shortest HP film. they ended up cutting alot of happenings and some things are distorted too, like how they said cho chang was the one who betrayed them all cos umbridge forced her to drink the truth potion. that's like so far from the plot! and i think they could have done better with the department of mysteries scenes.. why can't they shoot more scenes, it's like a bit abrupt, after they reached the place den immediately the glass spheres came to view.. they could have navigated a bit rite, after all it's not an easy place to get into.. however the scene whereby harry went crazy after bellatrix killed sirius is well portrayed, although i think most of the credit goes to the good acting skills of daniel himself. my heart went out to him when he shouted like that, ha.. the scene when all the glass spheres fell on them, i was wowing silently to myself, it's like so majesty! nice.. but i was disappointed when harry didn't lose his temper at dumbledore, i wanted to see that! and dat scene is so short too.

the atmosphere of the movie is quite well portrayed, though it'll be better if they could lengthen the movie and include more things..

back to doing eom, what a pain..

2007-07-16T13:12:00.000+08:00

going to watch HARRY POTTER movie on tuesday with ivy, yanzhen, jiahui and shihui. too bad the others can't make it. well, im much more excited abt friday and saturday!! all h2 lit students are going to watch the KING LEER play at the esplanade. and what's even cooler is that king leer is played by the same man as gandalf and magneto!! but then this means i cannot make it fer cell. then just the next day, when the morning has just began, im going to buy my copy of HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHYLY HALLOWS!! these two days will be great, esp sat. omg, the excitement.

i have decided to fast on the computer. no more using of my com at all, except for pw. i wrote this post in the school library lol. if i don't do this, i can pretty much predict my common test results.

gp mock test later on.. econs mock test on friday.. guess ill have to study fer econs first.

2007-07-14T23:24:00.000+08:00

i can't believe there are people like that. and they are supposed to be her close frens in school!!

this is what happened to caiyun. she wanted to pray for two of her frens, about the blessings which they need. but then they ended up arguing with each other about various things.

they told her about alot of things which challenged the christian faith. like they brought up that chain mail abou the sinking of the titanic ship. that God sank the ship just to show that He indeed could do sth like dat, when one of the crewmen said that even God can't sink the ship. then they said why did God created humans then destroyed them so unflinchingly, so cruelly?

then they also challenged caiyun.. asking where is God? what are the evidences that prove his existence.. and what are the proof that heaven and hell exist.. all these questions.. even those questions which we ourselves dun think about.. they seem to take that period of time as some kind of shoot-her-down session.. caiyun didn't know how to answer them.. and i know that secretly they're laughing at her humility. i am downright pissed for the sake of one of my closest frens.

jc students.. i thought they should be more mature? i thought they should know the line between jokes and cutting remarks? and do they even know the meaning of eq?

granted.. they are from nj, where all the smart and studious reside.. and they've done some research of religions on their own.. but to think they even told caiyun to send the most knowledgable person to discus with them, to see if he'll be able to convince them even.. i could do no more than sweatdrop and let my jaws drop to the ground. i honestly can't believe they could be people who would say that.. i mean.. even if u think all the things about God is great.. God answers prayers.. religious and christianity stuff are stupid.. u would think twice about holding them in rite.. because there is such a thing as ampathy.. and i really can't bring myself to not tell them to go eat shit when i heard about it.. i mean.. i know there are and there will always be people who are not going to turn towards religions. ever. but to say all that hurting things.. i feel for caiyun, i really do.. if its me, i know i can shoot them down also. ive not been a christian myself till sec 3. so i have my fair share of doubts too, like them. but there are eye-witness accounts.. of plenty of miraculous things.. like near-death experiences.. of people encountering God Himself.. and of all the miraculous work and healing done in His name.. i mean.. aren't those evidences?

throughout our whole lives.. there are clues.. subtle hints from God.. to tell us gently that Hey I've been here all this while.. Why are u ignoring me? Why do u think me as sth out of ppl's imagination and lies? He gives us opportunities to accept Him... dats what those eye-witnesses' accounts are for! he let ppl see His work.. see jesus himself even.. so that they would be testimonials, proving to skeptics the very thing which they've been evading for since like forever, that God is real. and He's certainly not a bad god who humour himself by making us suffer, by seeing us in pain.

actually.. im not pissed now, as compared to ytd, when im using what little self-control i have to not yell curses right there in rachel's dad's car. (actually, i can't bring myself to curse, ill probably just tell them to go dunk their heads in shit) i realise that there are worse ppl than these examples and if i would get angry at everyone of these ppl i meet, then i probably would die young out of high blood pressure.

anw, i can sort of ampathise with them, meaning skeptics.. since i was one myself years ago.. when i was in gb and when the officers shared Christ with us and when we prayed. i was one of those girls who rolled my eyes at the things which i think are stupid and ridiculous.. and i was the one who kept thinking we're praying to the air.. when im used to praying at the alter to unfeeling idols for all my life..

we people get so intellectualall the time.. whil we're growing up.. we think of alot of things.. like where do life originates.. the universe.. different solar systems.. why do they exist in the first place? even our surroundings are weird in a way if u study them closely.. if we stop to think and look around us.. there r actually alot of things which can be questioned about.. even our own bodies.. so intricate and so.. made for survival.. all the organs are like fine pieces of art and science combined.. so complex yet so delicate.. to think that there is no one, no one at all who created all these.. this then, is the greatest mystery..

self-denial.. that's a state all of us are in..

ha.. common test. common test.. common test..

2007-07-12T21:41:00.000+08:00

we had a short period of interaction during hist lecture today and it was fun. think because of that the otherwise really boring hist lecture which is about fundamentalism turned into something intersting for once. the points which got us hyped up are that in the Bible, God says that should a brother dies and leaves behind his widow then the living brother should marry his sister-in-law. looking at this, even i find it weird and sick. but apparently God meant for the person to look after and to take care of his brother's widow and for convenience's sake, to marry her. this is what mdm koh said, which i suppose is right because otherwise it doesn't make sense.

then mdm koh said that she read a book last time which really convinced her that christianity is stupid. it's writtedn by a philosopher whose name she's forgotten. the philosopher, for all his life, have been trying to convince people not to turn towards God and Christianity then he provided them with a whole lot of reasons why they shouldn't. then the irony is that sjust before he died, he accepted the lord and became a Christian. people felt betrayed because he's actually like some sort of traitor to do that. His reason to become a christian? it might be that he's actually afraid of going to hell and he wanted to go to heaven, that's his reason, which i think is even more stupid than all the falsehoods he'd been claiming all his life. then the ball just sort of started rolling and mdm koh revealed that she's a christian. and then hz asked if mdm koh thinks that the theory of heaven and hell is naive. that got people hyped up and i joined in, asking her if she became a christian just because she's afraid of going to hell and not heaven. then she said yes, lol. and i asked further if she believed in the bible and what makes her believe the bible. i admit that if it was another teacher, i would not have dared to ask such questions. but it was mdm koh, the teacher whom everyone loves and absolutely adores and who is like our friend whom we could talk to about anything. ha, so i figured she woudn't mind. she didn't want to answer our questions though, saying that we should take it outside of the lecture should we want to continue discussing with her about religious stuff.

ha, after that i saw hz telling mdm koh that he's not being against christianity when he's saying that he thinks the heaven and hell belief is naive then he further asked mdm koh if she thinks what the bible preaches is stupid (sth like that) adn i hate to disappoint him that much as her would like to find someone who has the same views as him, mdm koh said yes cos she was obliged to do so. it wouldn't be wise to disagree on such a sensitive issue as seeing how he was so agitated about stating his stand. then i chatted with her for a short while. she's actually been going to a church to another and i asked her to come to my church and i think she found the venue (expo) is inconvenient. then i told her that God has a church for her and that jumping around churches are no good. then she said with that lovable smile of hers that this is something personal with her and God. but at least she believes in Jesus and that's what matters. oh my, why am i blogging abt a teacher???

there is evidence that heaven exists and no, i don't believe it either that only christians can go to heaven. then wouldn't those ppl who never had the chance to know God in their entire lives be like destined to go to hell? no, that would be unfair and God is someone who judges fairly. and who says that even people who call themselves christians can go to heaven? not if u're a faker and a sunday christian who is not true even to his feelings towards God. the gateway to heaven is small, even if u believe in Jesus Christ. heaven and hell exist and there's no way in between. somehow i think i sort of understand why hz said that this belief is naive. it's like saying that all things are black and white and there's no in between. yeah.. but as i said.. God is the fairest judge u can even get and he knows exactly what we did in our entire lives.

played badminton for like the 2nd time in my whole life today.. think it's quite fun.. ha.. going to cell tmr. the time is earlier than usual though, looking forward to meeting up with my sisters.

HARRY POTTER!!!! 21st JULY!!! im much moer excited abt the book than the movie. im gonna finish the book on the first day. after i read it i will re read it until im satisfied. but i think between the first reading and the sec reading there would be a long interval.. think the ending is really going to be impactful.. must need some time to digest..

2007-07-09T21:00:00.000+08:00

the 100k blessing...

it's a nation-wide movement to bless the people around us. and by the people around us, they can be anyone we know. they may not be someone whom we know closely and they may not be even someone we know. whoever God leads us to, we'll do it. even if it's someone whom we dislike or have no relevant topics with.

this 100k thingy is not a scheme by the church to con people into going to church and then further con them into donating their hard-earned money which could otherwise be used to buy worthy things such as cds. i know that there are indeed christians who are over-enthusiastic in their invitations to ppl for them to go visit their church. i know that there are cases are 'christians' who use the name of God and the cover of the church to extort money from unknowing people. i know that people simply do not just suddenly out of the blue believe in someone whom they cant even remotely identify with, furthermore, that someone is like the empty air.

and i know too that people are just not interested in 'this kind of stuff'. and by 'this kind of stuff', they mean it as religious and extremistic. generally, people think different religions have different viewpoints and so they, who stand on the neutral sides, naturally think that they have no need at all to speak of to turn to a religion for spiritual guidance. unless something really tragic and unfortunate strikes them, they would forever be sitting on the fence, having their own freedom in their own world which their will and the rest of the world governs what they do.

this 100k thing is not just about 500o ppl going around and seeing that they like the sight of this person or seeing that this person seem gullibble then they decide to try their 'luck' and give it a shot, to see if this person would fall into their traps, just one of the many many activities the church have every year so that unsuspecting people and people who have no minds of their own would be conned into.

would anyone believe that we genuinely want to just simply bless people? yes, we are in no postitions to bless people since we dun hold that much of a power. it is god whose heart is always for the needy and poor who led our church into this 100k blessing. and we are not asking for 20 blessings each either. God is visiting this nation and by that i mean that the kingdom of God is near Singapore. ask other christians and they too would say this since all 120 and sth churches in singapore are currently praying for the revival of singapore.

there can be needy and poor people around us and u wun even know it. it might even surprise u to find out that ur close fren has been hiding a dark secret which he can't tell anyone. well, that sounds dramatic but what i mean is that people, even people at our young age, can have problems of their own. whether be it family or relationship problems. these could be things which they dun want other ppl to know, things they would rather hide and solve themselves.

sometimes it's just difficult to ask for help. we humans are just soooooo prideful. pride just gets in the way of alot of things.. no one is going to think dat this person is weak cos he asked for help.. on the contrary i think they might even see it as a good thing since coping up all ur sad/angry/hard feelings is like making a fiery volcano, which is just waiting for the time to explode and shock everyone. well, i may be unrealistic as most ppl would confide in their closed frens should they have a problem or they have sth unhappy to talk abt..

well. let me say sth which is the plain truth but ppl just think nothing of it.

u can't see God.. He doesn't even talk.. so how are u going to be convinced that He does exist?

have you heard or read about any near-death experiences in which the victims went to heaven and saw for themselves a bright light?

have u heard of any stories like God giving miracles to the people who are so desperately in need?

have u heard of many miracles and healing done by God..

there are evidences proving His existence and He's greatness... but ppl dun just want to be called a fool having blind faith, which is believing in sth which ppl can't see, which has subtle means of staying hidden. also, for what reasons should they turn to a religion? dat would be like not so cool and they would be like different from the people they hang out with..

well, if God can be seen by ppl so easily then there would be alot of ppl dying every day. and if ppl believed in God because they could see Him, there is real, concrete proof that He is indeed around us, then wouldn't ppl be going to heaven always and then salvation would be like not sth precious anymore... ha, i guess i dun make much sense to non-believers....

ok, the 100k blessing = free prayers for ppl who have needs in their lives. for a month, we would be praying every single day for the ppl who accepted God's blessings. and it's totally free. and u have nth to lose. and it doesn't matter if u dun believe in God because we're the ones who believe in Him and we're the ones who asked u in the first place. so, yeah.

the blessings available (sounds like a menu)

1) health
2) protection
3) inner peace
4) family harmony
5) financial freedom
6) progress in career
7)friendships and relationships
8) wisdom and intelligence
9) direction for the future
10) forgiveness
11) eternal life
12) fullness of the holy spirit

hmm, the last 2 points make no sense whatsoever to most ppl. anw, the point is that it's free (singaporeans seem to think that they have to give some sort of things in return for this unreal and weird gestures). no strings attached. much as we would like to, we would not bug or force the entire kowledge of the bible onto u. just to bless, what is there to be suspicious about?

common test is coming. we students at jj really have it good. an entire month later than our peers. is dat good or bad? i honestly dunno.

2007-07-08T02:34:00.000+08:00

i

have

something

amazing

to share....

so are the rest of the

5716 warriors...

this feeling
i can't put it in words.

hey, my frens and everyone who reads this blog...

God exists.

you can talk to Him anytime and anywhere u want.

since He's always around us.

HE LOVES YOU

AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.

period.

2007-07-07T00:48:00.000+08:00

just reached home from ed silvoso conference.. was sleeping for like the first 10 mins cos i really couldn't take it.. slept late again the night before just to watch bleach..had a long talk with a fren into the wee morning.. this is wat i wan to say to him,

Dear brother...
hey, if u're feeling terrible now because of the various issues, why dun u try casting all ur frustrations/worries/agonies onto God? u may feel that u're unworthy to do so because in a way, u've sinned against him, but what i wan to say is that God definitely doesn't think so, even if u've sinned, he still loves u, and who doesn't do wrong things once in a while anw? all the small worries u have, even if u think they are too insignificant to bother God with, God doesn't think so. He loves for us to just talk to him about our thoughts, inner feelings and those secrets which we can't tell anyone at all, even our best fren. He created us because He loves us, remember? Even before He created the universe and everything.. He had in his mind, our best interests. He thought of us already even bofore He made the blue skies, the shining stars and all the other wonderful works of nature u see around us. so, whenever u're feeling down, feel free to tell him about what's upsetting u. u're not bothering Him at all. Which father doesn't like his child to trust Him enough to be able to tell them just about everything. but even if u dun, He still knows what's in ur mind anw..

about that issue which u're troubled over. i dun know how to advice u as seeing Im not that wonderous as God Himself. what i can tell u, though, is that pls, u dun have to feel ashamed towards Him. there are distractions preventing u to really trust Him with all ur life and u know that too. rmb, u cannot serve 2 or more Gods at the same time. girlfren, studies, money etc... i ask of u to really pray... and by really pray, i mean really really really cast away all ur inhabitations, ur fears of showing ur weak side, ur unbeliefs and doubts. we've always been so busy with everything, i think it's extremely befitting to dedicate some of our time to Him and Him alone. Focus on Him.. the fact that He died for us when He doesn't need to at all, go back to the meaning of the cross. whatever that is stopping u from going all out to trust Him it's ok to be frank with Him after so much time of 'not bothering' Him. and always remember, trust Him like He trust u... faith plays an important role in the christian life, it's about believing in sth/someone whom u can't see or feel, using our five senses. yes.. u may call it blind faith, just as others who dun understand call it. but aren't all the evidences such as testimonials and real life experiences convincing? it's inevitable that we may doubt Him and even His existence at times when we're still new to this new life... that's when we question ourselves, r we really following the real god? or r we just like fools, being held by leashes by the church? at these times, i know it's difficult to continue.. who ever said that being a Christian is easy? a lot, a large number of people went the other way round because of this. they chose to follow their ownselves. freedom to them is being able to do whatever they want if they felt like it, without any inhabitations... but my dear brother... u and i know that that's not true freedom at all. we dun have to explain to others/ppl who r skeptics why we believe in God and Jesus.. there's no need to. since we hold the truth in our hearts, we know that nothing matters, really, compared to the one who loves us so much, with such a perfect love that no one can comprehend...

pray often... for the things bothering u.. just about anything u can pray for. and by praying it simply means talking to God. and about the holy spirit speaking to us thingy which we ppl from charismatic church keep talking about? i know that u're somehow freaked out by charismatic churches because of past bad experiences.. but wat i wan to tell u is that.. yes. there exists a holy spirit and it's true He speaks to us. He doesn't go "BOOM BOOM BOOM SO-AND-SO..." because that's just not the way to it. He'll just make us die of heart attacks soon after. we want God to speak to us so much, or we just want a sign from Him, a response, to show us that He's indeed listening, the truth is we are really caught up with doing our own things that we seldom and rarely quiet our hearts down and focus our attention on Him alone.. dun be stressed/pissed because u're sick of the 'U will tear when u experience God's presence' thingy... just know that even if u've prayed for a hundred years without receiving any responses at all from Him... it doesn't mean that He doesn't love u or He thinks u're unworthy compared to other ppl or He wants to turn away form u cos u've sinned so much. no, it's not. i ask of u to trust Him. respect Him and fear Him, yes, but know that He's our father too, and also He's the best fren all of us would ever have.. He's not empty air or someone imaginery... God is someone who wants our love just as He loves us. When we truly love Him, all other things really just pales in comparison... studies.. results.. career.. everything, anything... non-believers dun understand why we always put God as our top priority.. they may even think it's foolish to say that one's passion is for GOD. but we know for ourselves what we know.

thus.. hold on tight to Him! trust Him... pray until u get an answer from Him. im sure.. 100% sure.. that GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS.. dun be dismayed and may ur faith in Him be strong...

btw.. i repeat myself.. i am not a fundamentalist (lol). it's true that i think the times centuries ago are better as in less immoral.. but i dun want the present times to go back either because dat's just the way it is. nothing could be done to reverse time or the hearts of human beings.. we change over time and that's a hard fact we just have to accept..

2007-07-04T01:10:00.000+08:00

God just reminded me that He is indeed a good God. For a long while now, i've been liking the song 'Beautiful Saviour' and i've been wondering would our church ever worship God using this song. i thought that it would be really wonderful if i could sing this song in church, along with everyone else. cos i really like the simple lyrics and its real soothing tune. then, last week when i saw that we're going to sing this song, i was so thrilled! ha, it may not seem important to someone else but to me, i thought that God does things so brilliantly. He had me yearning for sth then just out of the blue, He presented me with it. ha, i feel like im so easily satisfied. that's good, keeps me happy all the time. bwahaha..

btw, i finally found 2 other ppl in jjc who are also from fcbc!!!!! woohooo!!!! one of them is in my group acts during the youth camp. there is no such thing as coincidence and God is so good to let me know ppl from the same family who are also in jjc. before that, i was hoping that i could meet at least one. i even thought that there are no others in jjc from fcbc too, since it's located in the west and it being such an anti-christ school. really glad. ha....

it's 130 in the morning now and i haven completed the other half of my eom. idiotic pw. yoga lesson starts this friday. going to hand in a parent's letter. they couldn't possibly force me to do yoga! i may seem extremistic but it's all for Him who gave up so much for us and who suffured persecutions a million times worse. never will i compromise! however much they 'modify' it, it's still about meditating... yea, call me crazy . if so, then u're saying that God is crazy too. haha..

btw, i really dun like the Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. from the beginning to the end, the idea of God is portrayed in such a way that He's unmerciful, unforgiving and a killjoy who likes to be sadistic and force ppl to be serious and pious all the time. He's like so forceful and serious in the book! a friend said that he thinks the things about God are stupid. if ive not known God, i would too think that it's idiotic. ha.. but the truth lives on forever in my heart. i can't fling it away that easily after i know for sure myself that He's real!

countdown to harry potter and the order of the phoenix movie - 8 days.
countdown to harry potter and the deathly hallows (oh my..) - 17 days.

2007-07-01T23:04:00.000+08:00

compulsory yoga for everyone, in my dear school, jurong junior college. and i've made my stand very clearly before, that i will never never never compromise. i will not give in to this compulsory thing, not because i want to find trouble, i want to rebel, i want to attract attention, i want to act holy, but because i want to make a stand for God. people wun understand what is so bad about yoga, it has so much health benefits and it's so much more relaxing than the usual pc we have, and it is not religious at all! they think we christians are just too strict. they wun envy us, because to them, we seem like we have so much restrictions, so many things that we cannot do. they think," what a tough life to lead if you're tied down to a religion, especially christianity. i would rather be a free man and i will take charge of my own life, what a carefree life that will be."

honestly, when i hear that we cannot do yoga, i was skeptical. but then later when i knew that yoga was created by the hindu monks centuries ago as a sort of meditation exercise i knew that i simply cannot bring myself to do it. yes, all that talk about how they've modified it.. it all comes down to this, they just dun get it why must we kick up such a fuss. do then do la, what's the problem.. u all christians.. sth wrong with your perception, nth wrong with yoga wat... sometimes, i get swayed by what the world thinks, and i even doubt if i really want to stand by my own belief. Yet, i cannot deny that God is not real and that the whole thing about jesus dying for us on the cross is a lie in itself. i know that God is indeed real and He's closer to us than we could ever imagine. knowing this, how can i bear to go the other way round. others seek their own ways to heaven, others dun believe in heaven at all, and i can't think the same way too cos i know it in my heart that God is for real and not an illusion. i cannot bring myself to go with the flow.. and i have to find some way not to participate in it. i know that others will think dat if im not a christian den i wun have these kind of troubles. well, the thing is im glad that i have these kinds of troubles. it brings me much closer to God. Jesus suffered persecutions way more serious than these long ago. Yet he went on with His strong belief in God and since God is with Him, no one can be against Him.

my school has compulsory yoga. everyone has to do it, no exceptions they say. but since God brought me to this school, He will bring me through it all.

gb and bb enrolment service today. oh, it's so nolstalgic! sarah is an officer already!woohoo! also, a girl from nhh 69th coy received christ today! sth really important we learnt is that u could never tell who are the persons around you who are having problems. they may look very normal on the outside but u could never tell if they cry secretly at night. sometimes they just can't someone to whom they can pour they heart out. these people, they cry out for some form of release and they seek a person whom will just bother to listen and even understand what they're going through. and God will give them that chance to just know Him.

being in the choir during the worship session seems so fun! im definitely going to join when the next opportunity comes. yiling says that when u're up there and looking down at all the teenagers worshipping God together, the feeling is so awesome no words can describe it..

harry potter's 7th and final book is coming so very soon! AHHH.. i can't wait! im going to buy it first thing in the morning and im going to finish it in one day. without stopping, i will finish it in one breath! yeah.. so excited..

2007-06-29T22:19:00.000+08:00

first draft of written report is ready.. finally i can have more sleep. i was ready to zonk out ytd but i forced my self to keep awake and continue to have my engines turning. in a group, there are bound to be people whom u wish could have been in another group, just not yours. but that's life. u cant choose who u want to work with and i guess this is sth u have to live with.

today i just completed my napfa test. there were only 6 of us doing since 4 of us have ponned pc lesons for dunno how many times already. i dunno wat's up with sit and reach this station. why is it that a flexible person will score less than a person who is much less flexible? i can't understand! and im super pissed cos im flexible but yet i scored 39 cm. this proves that this station has gt nothing to do with one's flexibility, it has gt to do with sth else! like how far u're from the thing i suppose.

just came back from cell and had a great time laughing. before that, watched caiyun, siokyit, cherie, denise, shermaine perform their choir duty, and i tried to follow their actions. it seems so fun! i would surely join next year. but for now i would just go to the front there and support them, together with ro and the rest.

Show me the pain
Open my heart and tear it apart
Humiliate me and shame me
Hurt my heart badly like what hurts yours
Bring me to my knees
Make me cry out to the One in heaven
Show me the meaning of thorough defeat
Then bring me to the frontlines
Make me witness the suffering out there in the battle zone
Search my heart and know my thoughts
Use my greatest fears to attack me
Till I'm trembling and sprawling on the ground
WIth tears streaming down uncontrollably
Then show me the truth
The situation which is dying for people to know
Show me your heart
And perhaps I'll understand
Maybe it'll not be very clear to me
But just a small part is enough
For your work to be done
I see my own insignificance in the world
But I'm as precious as the others in your eyes
All it takes is a single willing person
You'll do the rest.

I'm addicted to yui. i just like her songs so much. going to je swimming centre on mon with rp, yj and some others. oh how i look forward to dat day. i think my heart will burst of the excitement. btw, i learnt today dat it's really, really, really imp to hold your tongue. im just the sort of person who speaks before she can think. And it's also insensitivity on my part. so sorry, i made you cry.. first time see someone cry because of my words and im so guilty lol... but things are ok now, thank goodness.

took this from pastor eugene's blog. =)

2007-06-26T22:14:00.000+08:00

sometimes we just get too comfortable wth the way things are going. We like to be in our comfort zones, so much so that when God gives us a call to rise up and fight, we become unwilling to do it. To plunge straight into combat zone for God is not something which could be easily done. I think for me, i would need a lot of courage and the willingness to serve Him, knowing that He died for me and what i can do is never enough to repay Him. Recently, i think im in a sort of rough patch. ive been contemplating about something, whether to continue or not, after all giving up is a better and easier way of escape, even though it can't solve any problems. but to just give up seems a more appealing option to me, never mind the consequences i have to face later. im just this sort of person. when my heart grows weary and becomes heavy over time, i will just try to find ways to escape it, instead of trying to combat the problem. u can say that im a coward and an extremely worrisome coward. sometimes i just can't seem to stop worrying about things, like what's going to happen next, will there be even a chance for me to overcome this? what should i do? even after knowing God, fears and worries for the present situation and future can still get to me occassionally. fortunately im not the only one who feels this way too. Long ago God's people also faced the same sort of feelings. Moses, too, felt uncertain when God told Him to do something. It's obvious that God wanted Him to do as he's told but yet he tried to give excuses like how he can't possible do it since he's not that great and blah blah. Well, im not refering to the 100k blessing campaign when i said im facing some problems of my own. im sure ill get over that as more time passes. time is said to be a healer but for me, i think time is nto a healer, it's just an aid. the real person who can heal all kinds of sicknesses, whether emotionally or ohysically, is Jesus Christ. i was terribly dreading this particular problem, i really don't want to face it, partly because i feel that im not up to it, partly beacause of my lack of confidence, also because of my unwillingness to leave my comfort zone. Crying in front of God is not being weak. it shows that u're thoroughly humiliated in front of Him and so all the more He is able to heal when a person is earnestly seeking Him and when he's finally let go of his over-inflated ego. Seek Him i did and he gave me this verse, which encouraged me, at least just a little.

Psalm 145:13-15, 18-19

13 Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
and your dominion endures through all generations.
The LORD is faithful to all his promises
and loving toward all he has made.

14 The LORD upholds all those who fall
and lifts up all who are bowed down.

15 The eyes of all look to you,
and you give them their food at the proper time.

18 The LORD is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.

19 He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;
he hears their cry and saves them.

Somehow, i still can't be thoroughly consoled. i still felt afraid and dread is really filling me up and pulling me down. i even got irritated at the slightest things when i came home today. i guess this is a really moody day for me. but as what Jackie Pullinger said, that we get fired up as we go... ill just continue to pray to God and ask Him for His strength to carry me through... and i know that he is a God who always keeps His promises. After all, im His precious daughter...

Oh, how i crave for someone's love and protection
Someone who will always be there when i need him
Someone whom i can trust with all my life
And who will never ever fail me
I felt lost
When all along there's no need to be
Since He's there already for me
Always stretching out His hand
Ever wating so partiently for me to hold it
He's been there right from the start
And He'll also be by my side till the very end.

anw, honestly, is project work helping us jc students at all? i suppose so, since we have to work with different people and do research and stuff. but still, i doubt it's usefulness. it seems to have brought me nothing but tiredness. endless things to find out, too many ends still left untied. im still waiting for the surveys to be done. and how about that one interview? this fri is the deadline for the 1st draft. somehow when i think that it's a school-based deadline and there are still more time till the final one should be ready, i can relax just that bit. now they're even saying that with a 'c' in pw, u may not be able to get into a good uni, despite ur higher than average grades. i wonder if that's indeed true. anw, y do we have to change pw teachers? i like our present one very much! haiz. hope the new one is not far too behind..

2007-06-24T22:11:00.000+08:00

argh argh argh argh. the june holidays are too short! i regretted again for my management of time. It is really quite amazing since i've not touched on any schoolwork other than fer my gp news articles since the beginning of the hols. and now that school is just the next day, im so sad dat ive not touched on the maths and econs assignments, except for 1 maths question only. i feel like such a failure. why do i always leave things till the very last minute before finally feeling the anxiety? To think all these while i've been slacking! honestly im very disappointed in myself. Up till date, there has not been a single period of hols which i really made full use of. in fact i think for all the hols i had ive really been slacking! even during o levels, the june hols is very important for us to revise our work but what have i done instead? slack. argh. i really hope that the next hol for me will be really productive. at least i should curb my 'leaving assignments not done until school reopens already' symdrome. and assignments are counted as our overall yearly assessment! argh. i actually did feel so worried just now when i realised my hw status. i felt that life sucks because of school. haiz. but i thank God that He's still so faithful. Im really determined to learn from this lesson, never to be last minute again when it comes to schoolwork. argh, i can feel the dread pulling my heart down when i think of school and my blank assignments. don't think ill be able to sleep early tmr because econs is due on tuesday! argh. im seriously lacking in sleep. a study found out that most teenagers said that they are lacking in sleep and the most common reason of all is because of their hobbies. hobbies.. or addictions to things which we like to do. argh. computer computer, why do you have to be invented by some genius who has nothing else to do?

Hold my hand... and never let me go.

2007-06-22T22:27:00.000+08:00

Couldn't go for the whole cell advance so only went on the second day for pulau ubin.

Scenery after we reached the top. The waters are so blue, really feel like swimming in it, it's so hot after we climbed up! But it's quite scary looking down from the cliff.

On our trip back to the mainland. View from our boat.

Yingxin and Cherie.

The hike is better than i expected. It's not as tiring and long as described by some people. Had to be leader for my group, which I really hated. Gathering group members, making sure everyone is there, getting everyone's spirits high, collecting the money for the boat trips. All these are the supposed jobs of the leader BUT i didn't accomplish that at all, well, except for the money collecting part which i did, not knowing what was happening. Always someone else in the group would have to take over the role as leader. I feel relieved but yet i feel useless too. I suppose it's easier to blame on my tiredness (as usual, i slept late reading online manga) and so leading to my disspiritedness but i know that i'm not a really extroverted person. To take on the role of a leader, whom people look up to and respect, i guess is much of a difficulty for me. I'm more of a follow-the-rest-of-the-group sort than the hey-let's-be-high sort. yea..

The morning session was about the 100k challenge. God gave each of us a key verse to prepare for this particular upcoming warfare. Mine is Psalm 68:9-10

9 You gave abundant showers, O God; you refreshed your weary inheritance.
10 Your people settled in it, and from your bounty, O God, you provided for the poor.

Honestly, i don't understand this verse at all. But i think it may be that God, whose heart is always for the poor, the lost and the needy will give plentiful blessings to them, should the occasion calls for it or when these people cry out in thirst of Him. For them, they need more of God's love and since God's heart is always towards them, He'll take compassion with them and provide them with those that they need. Should they even stretch out their hands and cry out to the Lord, God will be heartened and more than satisfied for this recognition. He wouldn't turn His back against the poor and He's always yearning and searching for the chance to make known the knowledge of Christ to those people whom He absolutely love so much.

Kelly said something which really made me think. "If we truly know God's heart, our lives will be very different." God loves His people so much. He naturally wants to help them and couldn't stand to see the suffering we're inflicting on each other. It's about being really selfless and putting other people first. To be a blessing rather than to receive. Should we be able to bless people, it goes to show that we're already very blessed. Knowing this, what would we have done differently? Would we still think that instead of being committed to Him, we would rather spend our time on mugging or other things like going out with friends or playing computer games? Knowing His heart for the people is different from acting it out and truly committing yourself to that very same cause that brought Jesus Christ here in the first place.

OMG i like yui the jrock singer so much!!! She's so cute and talented (she only learnt to play the guitar and songwriting when she's 16!). usually she's quiet but when she sings she shines like a star. Also, she doesn't have the airs of a celebrity and she didn't try to conform to a cool image or what. She's just being herself. I think that's really admirable. *going ga-ga over her* And i have to listen to her songs every day! I really like her songs and her voice. So simple yet catchy, pure and true to her feelings. The song 'Goodbye days' didn't really strike me at first when i listened to it while watching her debut movie but then i couldn't get it out of my mind later.. it's plain yet catchy.. ahh... how to describe.. i also dunno.. she just rules..

really, really tired. i think i would be able to fall asleep immediately after hitting the pillow.

2007-06-20T01:19:00.001+08:00

2007-06-17T21:58:00.000+08:00

Hebrews 12: 1-3
Therefore, since we are surronded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders andthe sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Joseph won, even when life for him hadn't worked out the way he planned.

We're living and we can't change that fact. There are sure to be situations in which we find ourselves being thrown into which we can't handle and we feel overwhelmed. We feel helpless since we don't know how to deal with the problems we're facing. But yet, we should never give up. Since this is life, we have to deal with it's negative side effects too. Because we can be sure that we will never be alone, we have hope. Hope is about trusting even when we can't see a spark of light in the darkness.

God is too good to be unkind.
God is too wise to be confused.
When i cannot trace His hand,
I can always trust His heart.

Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

Have you ever had a dream? Perhaps one that you have held onto when you're younger but as time goes by and as we face the realities of life, the dream which was held so dearly previously has lost it's former place and impotance.

Once, which was not very long ago, i had this dream and i thought for sure that that is what God has placed in my heart but now, i'm not that sure of it at all. It's a ridiculously big dream which i dun think anyone else has so it's quite embarassing to say it now, but my close friends know about it though. i kept asking God. I thought it's what He wants me to do but I'm wrong, because i dun see any doors opened to me at all, or even windows. Perhapes it's because i've not even took any substantial steps to become closer to my dream. All i know is that my heart has hardened and i dun think that dream which i had is going to last anymore. i really want to know the truth, if it's that what He really wants me to have and fulfil.

looking forward to 100k campaign. blessings.. yeah..

2007-06-14T21:41:00.000+08:00

had pw discussion today and im so glad abt it.. ive been worrying abt pw fer like days and i can't do much abt it cos i was at 2 camps..fortunately we're not scolded or wat for doing so little work.. so happy!!! things are finally on track and we finally noe wat exactly to do........ *sigh* so relieved. lol... thanks God.. i was telling God about how i dunno wat to do abt pw anymore.. we need to find mass com students to do the surveys but somehow we cant (dat trip to ntu is a disaster). i told Him dat ill leave the project to Him since i can't seem to find the heart to continue and i dun noe where to start even.. thanks be to Him, who will always make things right. it's not dat if u're a christian den things should always go smoothly for u, there are still problems but we can count on a wonderful God to look after us, without fail. yippee~

2007-06-10T21:41:00.001+08:00

Youth camp is amazing. the ministry session is even more powerful than encounter camp. God just brought me back to the cross during the song 'Come, Holy Spirit'. I thought that i was always ever that strong in Him, that really, my faith in Him will not waver. But i was wrong. it seems that we always have to seek the Lord. We do things, thinking that it's for Him and sometimes when our relationship with Him is not renewed, when we begin to rely on our own strength instead, our hearts are hardened and living for God becomes like a routine, like something which we must do, which we are even compelled to do. All along i didn't realise the reason why God put me in those trying moments in the first place. maybe that's why i was feelins so empty during the worship session. i was thinking to myself, all the things that happened, why did they even happen? i just felt so tired running this race and constantly trying to overcome that particular problem. Then i started to cry so badly until pastor julie came to pray for me... the presence of the holy spirit is very strong and that caused me to weep even harder. God is telling me that no matter what happens, He is all for me and His love is so great it will transcends all difficulties. it seems that all these while, ive been unconsciously worrying, even if me myself thought that i was really giving up all my burdens onto Him. i knew that He is there, really there, and i felt it with His strong presence. so i gave myself up to crying out to Him and to cast my burdened self to Him. Now that i look back on hindsight, i realise that we often need to renew our relationship with God, that's why going to service is such an important thing, because then will we have the chance to experience Him all over again. otherwise over time, our hearts will harden and we might even doubt His existence, His love and even our worthiness. i really like the chapel at the marine parade tc, it was the place where God brought me back to Him again and my passion for Him is buring even more strongly. It is also the place where i was slain, after that regrettable encounter camp last time. i could have been slain at that time but i stubbornly refused to fall in His presence, cos i wanted to preserve my pride. and i truly regretted that moment when i chose my pride over Him instead. ha, now im so glad. and being slain is so cool, to rest in God's presence, who doesn't want that?

Then i went back to the tent first and laid there, i was asking God why was i still feeling burdened.. as usual, God reminded me not to burden myself with thinking that no one understands my problems, it is enough just for Him to understand me, since He is the one who will understand me the most thoroughly. yupps, so this camp has really brought our relationship even closer. it gave us messages from God too, like how each of us are running different races, like how each of us have our own different lives to lead, different decisions to make, different challenges to face. No one else can run the race for another and each can only run his own race, then can that race be ran the best. no one else may understand. but God understands. and that really is enough.

Psalm 46:1-3
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

4/5 gathering is great. i really miss my secondary class so much. they say the best friends in life are made in secondary schools, that is like so true. i feel that even after much time of not seeing each other, the wheels of time have just been started again once we gather together. and we click so well together, not that are like so nice, not that the new frens i made in a new school are not, but it's just that connection. jc is really different from secondary schools, particularly abt those friends u make, whether they will ever last u till a long time.

service today is even more great since alot of us just came back from youth camp and the atmosphere is different from usual. youths gearing up and roaring for God. and im one of them! so glad that i went to youth camp. i went, knowing that we will learn more abt God, yet ive got more things which ive not expected, like personal messages and how ive known more ppl in church.

soccer camp just one day after my youth camp, is there an even better combination? much as i hate it (all the physical stuff are really tiring!), i have to go, and since God places me in this school and everything else, they are all for my own good.. yea..

btw, i was late for p.e. today for like around 30 mins and that equals to nothing, like zero attendance, so i have to go for one more time to make up for that. AHH!! and it's like not even my fault!!!! ive to pass my fren sth and she was LATE!!!!!! she's late so im late. ha. but it's not like i had nth to gained, she treated me to a bottle of ponk dolphin! lol..

100k blessings at east coast on the last day of youth camp is great. weather is hot so ppl must be happy to receive water right? ha, but apparently there are some ppl who thought that we're selling the water or that we want donations in return, there's even a woman whom i approached just immediately said no thanks after i mentioned that i was from faith community baptist church. ha, this is called allergy to churches and Christianity.. well, but still we managed to bless plenty of ppl in the hot weather.

oh, sth that really made an impact on us.. on the 2nd third morning, for some reason we got up at 5 am instead of 7am (ha, fortunately i slept early, think was asleep by 1145!) and we are just singing this song abt jesus on a vessel and doing the actions and stuff. then after we're being dismissed, this woman just came up to p. julie and said," what would Jesus say to a crying woman?" and then she just started to cry, right there in front of strangers. p. julie was shocked and couldn't say anything more than," Jesus would say that He loves you and God loves you too." it turned out that this woman was previously a Christian who backslided and for some reasons she just lost faith in God due to some problems faced. she qouted bible verses from her finger tips and even asked if we're from fcbc. then the funny thing is that p. julie started to look around herself to see if there's anything indicating that we're from fcbc. ha, there's nth around that said that we're from fcbc but still. God must have told her that. the thing is when God moves, He moves and nothing will stop Him. we did nth at all in particular to touch this woman's heart but it is God who worked. ultimately, God is the one working his miracles and should we not have woken up at 5 am, this woman would not have been ministered to and her life would continue be the same as before. God just works in brilliant ways and it's unpredictable about what might happen, really.

churchwide prayer meeting on wed, hope i would not fall asleep like what i did today. (this is supposed to be a secret) also, looking forward to bringing blessings to 20 ppl around me. 100 k campaign is really for us to rise up as His warriors. We will go to war! We have fought the good fight, we have finished the race, we have kept the faith!! ;-)

2007-06-06T23:32:00.000+08:00

youth camp tmr and i still haven packed my bag. anw work at robinsons is finally over ha. class bbq on sat dunno if can make it in time but i wan to go cos i miss 4/5 so much. *wails.

2007-06-06T00:12:00.000+08:00

i slacked the whole day ytd watching bleach cos im really lagging behind (im still at ep 110 now!). so i didn't study gp until 11 pm and i tried to get the things into my head but i couldn't continue reading the thick notes anymore since there are so much of them to go over and it's so boring. anw my bro said dat im noisy so i thought dat it's a good excuse fer me to go sleep. den i couldn't sleep and i think i was awake throughout the next 2 hours. im thinking about random stuff for 2 whole hours... also i suppose my body is already tuned to sleeping early in the morning. but im determined to get my sleeping routine back on track. 11 pm to bed and 6 to 7 am wake up. ok, den i was late for gp cos i woke up at 9 when the test is supposed to start at 9. but shirley chan was late so that bought me some time. got my dad to send me so dat's how i reached school in about 20 mins. im such a pro. hahaha. but i left 10 (or is it 12?) marks blank for the content based sections!!!! 10 marks.. 10 marks.. out of 30 marks. and without doubt im most likely to fail for dat test. i suppose i could still rely on the other one but i wouldn't bet on it. i left 10 marks blank cos of the stupid job. i can't possibly be late lol.. den priscilla said which is more important, test or money. den i wanted to say god but it's not in the choices so i said $. really. dat gp test is like just a test. and so wat if i failed dat one test. at first im whining abt it but den later i tout it's just a test.. at least i got some marks for those qns i attempted. ha. the $5 is really easy to earn. there are like so few ppl since the gss has been over fer 2 weeks. the work is easy and seriously i actually wanted there to be more customers so dat i can have something to do!so after around 8 hours of continous standing, my legs are soaked full of lemon juice. den cos june called me to ask where am i so i answered and den the manager just suddenly popped out and he was like so acting tough and fierce. he actually wanted to confiscate my phone but later he decided not to. he was that typical kind of mean manager who thinks that since he has the power and the authourity he could put on a dissatisfied and black face every time. seriouly i dun think he noes how to smile. den xiufen the girl working in the same area as us told me not to cry, ha, i guess i looked sad. lol. i wanted to tell the manager,"if u want to fire me den just do so, i dun wan to take this crap from u." cos he's acting like a teacher towards a student when the student has done sth wrong, the difference is that a teacher scolds a student out of concern for the student but he?? i wan to collect all the shitty attitude he showed and shove them rite back. but i cant do dat lol since im in the wrong in the first place. still it's his stuck-up everything dat made me frustrated at the time. seriously, i came only to stand in for my fren and i dun need the job and i think if he really confiscated my phone den ill tell him dat ill quit. it's like so lame. so what if im a student i have my rights too! but cos god is good the manager decided to just show me dat shitty attitude of his for a few mins den he returned me my phone. so much fer action. or perhaps he thinks im not worthy enough to take up his precious time. he has much more scowling and supervising to do. just one more day hahaa... going to get ro's present too..

well. this is the only post which is fer myself. ha. going to catch up on bleach now instead of sleeping. im tired but the thought of bleach just wakes me up. hee. btw i like hitsugaya more and more!

2007-06-04T01:21:00.001+08:00

Lord you are the one who gives me strength
All the times when I couldn’t seem to carry on
When things seemed impossible to overcome
I despaired and cried out to you
Knowing that despite the impenetrable darkness
There is an ever glowing light
Small, weak and extinguishable it may seem
But yet the flame is always glowing infinitely
Much as the darkness may seem intolerable
Hope is still ever present with you around
You’re not the one hiding, it’s me
And when I finally search for you
You never fail me
You’re the source of the light and the origin of hope
Hope is always at where you are
I open my heart to you
Abandoned all worries, all troubles
Knowing that since you’re here and I’m willing
There’s nothing left to fail
The vast possibilities of the future
I can be scared, I can be uncertain
But the one thing sticks through despite the circumstances
Nothing that could ever happen would take you away from me
You’re always right by my side
Me needing you and you supporting me
There is nothing to be fearful of
Since you will always be there, all for me.

Ok, im really guilty because up till now, ive not done a single thing related to schoolwork. And to think there’s a gp test just one day away. And we have to memorise the points and the supporting details! English has never been a memorizing subject yet when it comes to jc, we have to memorise???!! Oh, there’s going to be 2 tests, the content based is the one which is really sucky. Well, I think im just going to read the notes a lot of times, maybe at least 3 times. I sure as not want to MEMORISE, for goodness’ sake. Anw, I still am unclear if memorizing is really necessary for gp. Well, I guess it’s not about memorizing but it’s more abt knowing what to write when it comes to that topic. And if you’re well versed in current affairs, u’re supposed to be a pro at gp. Think ive really had to be reading the papers every single day. (ive not even finished reading 1 copy of time since the beginning of the year, I actually wanted to make an attempt at finishing reading some of them, but honestly they’re so boring that it takes an effort to not fall asleep) god bless me for my efforts at studying #*@% gp…

2007-06-04T00:21:00.000+08:00

Footprints Also Known As "I Had a Dream"

One night I dreamed a dream.I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to me and one to my Lord.

When the last scene of my life shot before me I looked back at the footprints in the sand. There was only one set of footprints. I realized that this was at the lowest and saddest times of my life. This always bothered me and I questioned the Lord about my dilemma.

"Lord, You told me when I decided to follow You, You would walk and talk with me all the way. But I'm aware that during the most troublesome times of my life there is only one set of footprints. I just don't understand why, when I need You most, You leave me."

He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you."

Margaret Fishback Powers, 1964

2007-06-01T19:11:00.000+08:00

ok, i just deleted this whole chunk of things i wrote abt a jjc couple i saw on a bus today. cos i guess i would come across as a crazy and super conservative obasang who's being overeactive and too high strung about trivial things like that. so, all i would say now is that that couple really grossed me out. and i really want to tell the guy this, "u think u're so cool, just because you're good-looking, have a good-looking girlfriend and so u can be so public abt ur intimate acts. then u're perspective to life is really narrow." yea, i guess ive now really come across as a super conservative dork who's jealous of other ppl because they're in a relationship.

well, the thing is, young ppl, starting even as young as since primary schools, are feeling the pressure to get attached, cos everyone around them are doing it and they'll really be left out if they dun have a boy/galfriend too. this is the evil fear of being rejected by their friends. also, probably the trend now is to have a so-called stead. if u dun have one, then u're unpopular and u're not cool. then there is also the possibility that the raging hormones are getting their way and ppl feel the urge to get intimate with ppl from the opp sex. well, watever reasons there may be, out of primal instincts or insecure feelings, this getting into a relationship thing while u're still so young is really pervasive across singapore.

sisters in christ! we must guard our hearts. it's easy for us to fantasize abt a certain tall, handsome knight in shining armour to come rescue us out of our current dismal situations but in reality it's different. true love exists but it's difficult to find it. and it wun do good if both parties got into a relationship just because they like each other in that special sense. if so, then it'll not be love which binds them together, but just a sense of wanting to be attached and wanting to be seen being attached. well, im not implying that true love can't be found when u're young. just that it's better to wait till a more mature age. otherwise, if u experience break-ups while u're still in a tender age, then ur heart will be scared. and when that one true guy comes along, u would have been left with just a fraction of ur heart to give him. now that wouldn't be very nice for ur husband.

oh, one more thing abt this topic. we're always looking for love. it's natural. and when we're attached, we may think that we're being loved and that we're so happy and satisfied. but ur search for love will never be successful and will never be over unless you finally find God. God made us in such a way that our hearts have a God-shaped void. without knowing Him, that void will never be filled and our lives will never be complete. how can a child not recognise or accept his Father? for some ppl they use substitutes to fill up that void, whether it's studies or work. but yet at the end of the day, u ask them why are they working to hard? what do they want out of their lives? then, u realise they can't really answer because without God, there is no purpose in life. even so, that purpose or that secret dream u've harboured, they are just distractions, from the real purpose God has for you. some ppl have everything but yet they have nothing because all the things they have, it all comes down to nothing in the end. take for instance, saddam hussein. He has such wealth and power to the extent that he had gold plated taps and that with just a command, disguised by an invalid excuse, any person in his country could just be put to death. yet, He's lost. He's a lost soul, a poor child, a desperate sheep. thinking he has everything, that he is God, that he's awesomely great for all the power he has and the wealth he possesss.

fortune and fame are just temporary possessions. u can't take them along with u after u die. relationships with ppl may not be constant. ppl can change. but God will never change. His love is constant and He's still the same even before He created the world. and He'll never ever change. e still loves u as a million years ago as compared to now. That's the love which He can give. Never changing, never wavering, even for a split moment.

well, i have God and my search for love is complete. ill rather feast on the holy spirit than on food. fill myself with His presense and love than be contaminated. many a times, we think we're unloved so we resort to all kinds of tactics to feel loved and be loved. but only God can give true, perfect love.

2007-05-31T23:36:00.000+08:00

2007-05-27T23:42:00.000+08:00

I'm going to start by having a really standard beginning...

What's the purpose you have in life? To score flying colours for exams then get a dream job then slowly save up for a car and an apartment. That's what most people would say anyway and it seems like that's the road most ppl would strive towards to. Well, it wasn't supposed to be this way. All of us, we've been given a destiny by God. Yes, much as we want to oppose it, God has already set aside a purpose and a dream for each of us. He created us differently. He took time to carefully form our different physical features. But other than that, He gave us purposes which He want us to follow and to achieve in life. Knowing God is about knowing direction, having bearings over your future and having aspirations. Since each of us are created individually, we have dreams which are unique to our tastes and personalities too. We might not realise it but God has planted in us a dream which He would like us to fulfil. Needless to say, we often ignore God's calling for us. But whichever way we choose to run from, the dream which God has given us since long before he created the world will be the best path for us. We can only truly shine in doing what He, someone who knows us the best, has thought out for us.

This is the sermon for last sunday by Ms Landa Cope. I guess what she said would struck a chord in most of our hearts since most of us still dunno what to do as our career. Some people have jumped into a job, knowing that they're not really interested in it but they still did it anyway just for the 'branding' and $$. While still some others have what we call "mid-life crisis". They've been searching in the dark for some kind of satisfaction in life, whether they're looking for it in their jobs or their personal relationships. Then they come to a point where they don't know if what they're doing is really what they want for themselves. fancy moping around aimlessly doing something u're unsure of when u could've spent the last 20 years doing sth else which u really liked. Well, we could ask God what is His plan for us. Yes, doing so would seem as though we have no backbone since we can think for ourselves too why ask somebody with such unclear origins? But we're created by Him in the first place. We owe our lives and our everything to Him. We say grace before every meal beacause of the fact that He gave us everything, even the food we're eating, yes! (u could've been a starving poor kid in a 3rd-world country but yet u're born here, shouldn't u be thankful already?) He had planned a truly blessed route for us to take and if only we could be obedient to Him and forsake our self-centredness to follow Him, like we should have been doing. ppl think it's having no backbone, no opinions, no brains of our own dat's why we have to depend on some kind of divine power cos we may not be smart enough to think for ourselves or that we may be too lazy to have our own lives. but it's wrong! it's true humility that we can stop being prideful and mindful of ourselves. it's true recognition that we are infallible to wrongdoings and misjudgements that we can rely on someone whom u cannot see. God wants us to trust in Him, that really, whatever that comes our way, it's His ideal plan for us. It may seem like the worst kind of situation God has put u into BUT remember always that God's mind works brilliantly. We can never be able to fathom what He's really thinking unless we ask Him ourselves should we go to heaven. The thing is should we be able to trust him so that we should not grumble when we meet difficulties and we should know that what happens is for the best, then would we not have worries for tomorrow since what is there to worry about anyway? We've acknowledged that there's truly an amazing God who loves us the way we are and who would bless us should we give Him our trust and faith. Then all that matters to us would not be whether we'll make it through this particular trail but instead the only thing we need to concern ourselves would be whether or not we're living our lives the 'proper' way, the way He wants it. He'll only give us the BEST, not the second best option or the third, but the best and only the best.

yupps. Global Day of Prayer is over and im really glad i went. It was really gratifying to see so many children of God gathering and standing united, bonded by a common God and His love. We came from different churches, whether charismatic or non-charismatic, but we're still under the same God, the very same God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. We prayed for many people, especially the youth of this day. Young people today are bombarded with all kinds of present new age stuff which we think it's uncool not to be in it together with the other 'happenning' ppl. we can be influenced by them so much that come a day in the near future, we might think that killing the unborn fetus (or just a ball of undivided stem cells as they put it) in a mother is perfectly reasonable and that sex before marriage is just so normal since everyone is doing it and u'll really be an outcast should u stand by your old outdated views. gay marriages are becoming more of the norm even as more countries seek to legalise them. well, they say they're born that way but i don't suppose God made anyone that way since much as we like to think otherwise, He doesn't make any mistakes, particularly in creating the people whom He loves so much. Youths are really being tested by the Lord this day. Only time would tell if we're really His children and that our usual proclaimations of "I love Jesus" is really true to the heart and true to the test.

Ha, dunling and yiling in front. sneak peak. btw, why did my phone ever spoil. panasonic takes the clearest pics ever!! bwahaha.

2007-05-24T19:39:00.000+08:00

wun be working after all. cos klutzy me thought that it was during june. can't have my sunday taken up. btw, i dun think i can go for cell advance cos we have to go back for classes. its my turn to present an article for econs tmr and of course ive chosen sth related to F1!!!!! this F1 issue about whether it was really coming here for the whole of last month really has seen its highs and lows. first, we were excited cos the very famous and the highest level of motor racing could actually be held in small little sg for one of its races. then it's all speculation when the ong tycoon and dear bernie ecclestone discussed abt the prospects and everything. then the discussion was taken to another level when it was revealed that ecclestone was quite positive abt a night race here and knowing him, he would have gotten things his way. then many F1 fans (including me) were disappointed when the government said that they might not support the venture economically after all. they said they would help but perhaps not to a large extent. a race was confirmed at Valencia at abt the same time and suspicions rose that now with another race on the calendar in running, there would be no need for a race to be held here. then hopes were raised again when ecclestone refuted talks that plans for a race here would be given up. then finally the sg govt found their conscious (they can't possible disappoint F1 fans any more, like they did last time) and decided to support F1 to the extent of bearing the largest share of the pie. this venture is really great since there are all the economic benefits and the possibility of sg becoming an international cosmopolitan country where the rich and famous would gather. finally! finally! ha, it's a bit belated to say this but still i wan to say that IM SO HAPPY!! just think, that alonso and gang would be here in our very own little dot! and they would be cruising around on the very roads which we drive on too! btw, i support lewis hamilton all the way, before, i was really neutral abt supporting a team or a racer cos i can't decide whom i like better, alonso or schumacher. now that lewis has come onto the scene, ive decided that he is the racer who has the real talent and raw power. his determination and will-power has already wowed ppl, even when he was still a kid. and i think above it all, he's humble. humble but not self-berating. he's confident that he'll win but yet he's not a bit proud of his record breaking achievements at all.

2007-05-23T19:43:00.000+08:00

yupps. i have no plans of bringing back my dear little taggie. simply bacause im really tired of having to read the flames that u guys give me. they would all be centered around the same theme which is how disrespectful i am to other religions and beliefs. and i dun think any amount of retaliation or explanations are going to make u all understand. it's futile really because your hearts are already closed against Him. anyway, to cut the crap short, ill just say that this is my blog and whether u like it or not, im going to continue to talk about God and Jesus until the day i can't seem to find strength in my fingers to type. and so if u know that u are going to be really agitated/irritated/angry at what i post then i suggest u calm down first before reading. ha, ill still encourage u guys to read, just for interest's sake. i personally find the info i found very interesing. and, will it be too much to ask for u guys to be more open? rmb, it is by no chance of fate or simple coincidence that u're reading this.

How Archaeology proves the reliability of the Bible

1) The discovery of the Ebla archive in northern Syria in the 1970s has shown the Biblical writings concerning the Patriarchs to be viable. Documents written on clay tablets from around 2300 B.C. demonstrate that personal and place names in the Patriarchal accounts are genuine. The name "Canaan" was in use in Ebla, a name critics once said was not used at that time and was used incorrectly in the early chapters of the Bible. The word "tehom" ("the deep") in Genesis 1:2 was said to be a late word demonstrating the late writing of the creation story. "Tehom" was part of the vocabulary at Ebla, in use some 800 years before Moses. Ancient customs reflected in the stories of the Patriarchs have also been found in clay tablets from Nuzi and Mari.
The Hittites were once thought to be a Biblical legend, until their capital and records were discovered at Bogazkoy, Turkey.

2) Many thought the Biblical references to Solomon's wealth were greatly exaggerated. Recovered records from the past show that wealth in antiquity was concentrated with the king and Solomon's prosperity was entirely feasible.

3) It was once claimed there was no Assyrian king named Sargon as recorded in Isaiah 20:1, because this name was not known in any other record. Then, Sargon's palace was discovered in Khorsabad, Iraq. The very event mentioned in Isaiah 20, his capture of Ashdod, was recorded on the palace walls. What is more, fragments of a stela memorializing the victory were found at Ashdod itself.

4) Another king who was in doubt was Belshazzar, king of Babylon, named in Daniel 5. The last king of Babylon was Nabonidus according to recorded history. Tablets were found showing that Belshazzar was Nabonidus' son who served as coregent in Babylon. Thus, Belshazzar could offer to make Daniel "third highest ruler in the kingdom" (Dan. 5:16) for reading the handwriting on the wall, the highest available position. Here we see the "eye-witness" nature of the Biblical record, as is so often brought out by the discoveries of archaeology.

http://www.christiananswers.net/q-abr/abr-a008.html

How did all the religions and the numerous gods come about?

Romans 1:21-23

Yes, they knew about him all right, but they wouldn’t admit it or worship him or even thank him for all his daily care. And After a while they began to think up silly ideas of what God was like and what he wanted them to do. The result was that their foolish minds became dark and confused. Claiming themselves to be wise without God, they became utter fools instead. And instead of worshiping the glorious, ever-living God, they took wood and stone and made idols for themselves, carving them to look like mere birds and animals and snakes and puny men.

Romans 1:24-27

So God let them go ahead into every sort of sex sin, and do whatever they wanted to—yes, vile and sinful things with each other’s bodies. Instead of believing what they knew was the truth about God, they deliberately chose to believe lies. So they prayed to the things God made, but wouldn’t obey the blessed God who made these things.”“That is why God let them do all these evil things, so that even their women turned against God’s natural plan for them and indulged in sex sin with each other. And the men, instead of having a normal sex relationship with women, burned with lust for each other, men doing shameful things with other men and, as a result, getting paid within their own souls with the penalty they so richly deserved.

Romans 1:28-32

So it was that when they gave God up and would not even acknowledge him, God gave them up to doing everything their evil minds could think of. Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness and sin, of greed and hate, envy, murder, fighting, lying, bitterness, and gossip. They were backbiters, haters of God, insolent, proud braggarts, always thinking of news ways of sinning and continually being disobedient to their parents. They try to misunderstand, broke their promises, and were heartless—without pity. They were fully aware of death penalty for these crimes, yet they went right ahead and did them anyway, and encouraged others to do them, too.

btw, i think the bible is just marvellous. it's written so long ago yet the ppl who wrote it knew what's gonna happen (yes, look around u and u would find that lots of things described in the bible are indeed happening NOW). There can be no other way around it. The bible is God's word.

oh, and logically thinking, it's weird to worship sth which u created. for example, u take a block of wood which is of top quality. u carve it into a resemblance of sth (animal/man). and then u use the best paint available to paint it with vibrant colours. add in the finishing touches and voila. u place it on an alter. u arrange other significant accompaniments. finally you got ur idol and alter done and u're set to worship it every day. just think, the sth which u created, should it be of a higher level or of a lower level than u? and why do ppl actually believe that gods will go live in the things which they created? dat's all i wanna say abt this. think think think..................

btw, i may be going to work for extra $ during the hols as a cookie promotor at the food fair at expo. it's 5 days only! quick bucks! bwahahahaha!!!

2007-05-23T00:20:00.000+08:00

This post is dedicated to all unbelievers who don't understand why are there people like me who are so devouted to God. I personally have experienced the proof of his existence and i'm not deluded, nor am i having blind faith. pls read on!! (below are all taken from the net, mainly 'anything.logspot'.

Bible the 'word of God'?

The Bible was written by about thirty-nine persons over a period dating from about 1700 B.C. to about 100 A.D. KNOWING THIS FIRST, THAT NO PROPHECY OF THE SCRIPTURE IS OF ANY PRIVATE INTERPRETATION. FOR THE PROPHECY CAME NOT IN OLD TIME BY THE WILL OF MAN: BUT HOLY MEN OF GOD SPAKE AS THEY WERE MOVED BY THE HOLY GHOST-2 Pe 1:20,21. ALL SCRIPTURE IS GIVEN BY INSPIRATION OF GOD, AND IS PROFITABLE FOR DOCTRINE, FOR REPROOF, FOR CORRECTION, FOR INSTRUCTION IN RIGHTEOUSNESS-2 Tim 3:16. BUT I CERTIFY YOU, BRETHREN, THAT THE GOSPEL WHICH WAS PREACHED OF ME IS NOT AFTER MAN. FOR I NEITHER RECEIVED IT OF MAN, NEITHER WAS I TAUGHT IT, BUT BY THE REVELATION OF JESUS CHRIST-Gal 1:11,12. Beware, for there are people that may TROUBLE YOU, AND WOULD PERVERT THE GOSPEL OF CHRIST-Gal 1:7. Beware, that you do not turn aside UNTO ANOTHER GOSPEL-Gal 1:6, for Paul tells us, FOR DO I NOW PERSUADE MEN, OR GOD? OR DO I SEEK TO PLEASE MEN? FOR IF I YET PLEASED MEN, I SHOULD NOT BE THE SERVANT OF CHRIST-Gal 1:10. BUT THOUGH WE, OR AN ANGEL FROM HEAVEN, PREACH ANY OTHER GOSPEL UNTO YOU (other) THAN THAT WHICH WE HAVE PREACHED UNTO YOU, LET HIM BE ACCURSED (or condemned)-Gal 1:8. Know, that a little false doctrine can cause great harm, as it is written, A LITTLE LEAVEN LEAVENETH THE WHOLE LUMP-Gal 5:9.

We are told it is the Word of God approximately 2,500 times.

A dying declaration is considered proof in a court of law. Why is this? When you are dying, it is the one time you don’t lie. Christ’s words as He was dying on the cross for your sins are evidence. Jesus said, FATHER FORGIVE THEM FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO-Lk 23:34. Just before being hung on the cross, He said He was the Son of God-ref Mt 27:43; Mk 14:62.

http://www.anything.logspot.com/Documents/Bible_Desk/proof_bible_true.htm

There are over 10,000 prophecies in the Bible and every one up to this time has come true without a single exception. THE FOOL HAS SAID IN HIS HEART THERE IS NO GOD-Ps 14:1.

why are there different branches of Christianity? (catholics, orthodox, protestant, anglicans) christians are so devided among themselves.

When ancient scribes copied earlier books, they wrote notes on the margins of the page (marginal glosses) to correct their text - especially if a scribe accidentally omitted a word or line - and to comment about the text. When later scribes were copying the copy, they were sometimes uncertain if a note was intended to be included as part of the text. Over time, different regions evolved different versions, each with its own assemblage of omissions and additions. (wikipedia)

now, below is the timeline of the 12 major religions in this world taken from http://www.sacred-texts.com/time/origtime.htm, in order from the first religion.

1) Judaism-Moses 1500-1350 BCE
2) Hinduism-2000 BCE
3) Zoroastrianism-Zoroaster 628-527 BCE Jainism-Mahavira 599-527 BCE
4) Jainism-Mahavira 599-527 BCE
5) Taoism-Lao Tse 580-500 BCE
6) Buddhism-Buddha 563-483 BCE
7) Confucianism-Confucius 551-479 BCE
8) Christianity-Jesus 1-33 CE
9) Shinto-100 CE
10) Islam-Muhammad 570-632 CE
11) Sikhism-Guru Nanak 1469-1538 CE
12)Baha'i-Baha'u'llah 1817-1892 CE

Yes, there is it. and i know that u're gonna think,"HA! Christianity the first religion? LOL! it's like what, the 8th religion to be formed? and taoism and buddhism are like before it!!!!"

According to Jewish tradition, the history of Judaism begins with the covenant between God and Abraham the patriarch and progenitor of the Jewish people.

Jewish history and doctrines have influenced other religions such as Christianity, Islam, Samaritanism and the Bahá'í Faith.

So Christianity is just one of the 'spin-offs' from Judaism. But, realised something yet? God is still the central character. People at that time know only ONE God. There are no other gods, only Him and He alone. And the making of the first 'god' has been recorded in the bible. It's in the form of an ox, made from the various gold which the people have. Many religions also have the belief that all gods lead to one God, not that i agree with it but STILL!

Exodus chapter 32:1-8 (NIV)
1 When the people saw that Moses was so long in coming down from the mountain, they gathered around Aaron and said, "Come, make us gods [a] who will go before us. As for this fellow Moses who brought us up out of Egypt, we don't know what has happened to him."

2 Aaron answered them, "Take off the gold earrings that your wives, your sons and your daughters are wearing, and bring them to me."

3 So all the people took off their earrings and brought them to Aaron.

4 He took what they handed him and made it into an idol cast in the shape of a calf, fashioning it with a tool. Then they said, "These are your gods, [b] O Israel, who brought you up out of Egypt."

5 When Aaron saw this, he built an altar in front of the calf and announced, "Tomorrow there will be a festival to the LORD."

6 So the next day the people rose early and sacrificed burnt offerings and presented fellowship offerings. [c] Afterward they sat down to eat and drink and got up to indulge in revelry.

7 Then the LORD said to Moses, "Go down, because your people, whom you brought up out of Egypt, have become corrupt.

8 They have been quick to turn away from what I commanded them and have made themselves an idol cast in the shape of a calf. They have bowed down to it and sacrificed to it and have said, 'These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of Egypt.'

Exodus 32:30-35 (NIV)

30 The next day Moses said to the people, "You have committed a great sin. But now I will go up to the LORD; perhaps I can make atonement for your sin."

31 So Moses went back to the LORD and said, "Oh, what a great sin these people have committed! They have made themselves gods of gold.

32 But now, please forgive their sin—but if not, then blot me out of the book you have written."

33 The LORD replied to Moses, "Whoever has sinned against me I will blot out of my book.

34 Now go, lead the people to the place I spoke of, and my angel will go before you. However, when the time comes for me to punish, I will punish them for their sin."

35 And the LORD struck the people with a plague because of what they did with the calf Aaron had made.

Yupps, i thought that it was cruel of God to punish His people so severely. Doesn't He love them? Well, doesn't your parents ever beat up because of something wrong you did? It's the same thing with God too, just that He loves us more than any of our parents love us. We sinned against Him. We need to bear the consequences. Yes, Jesus died for us and our sins are washed away (no matter which century we live in). Yet, we have to suffer some kind of consequences, otherwise how do we ever learn from our mistakes? Other ppl might refer to it as karma or retribution and it's all the same!

Lastly, i must make myself clear. i do not intend to criticise other religions. i only wish to spread His word. btw, i took the tagboard down because not all ppl will agree with what i say and they will write things defaming me, that i have no respect for other religions. now, i don't want to be dishonest and so i shall speak my mind. actually, in my heart, i do not have respect for other religions. because i understand the 'truth' (note that ive put in quotation marks, i really am trying to show respect to ppl) ya many ppl will not like dat. so i hold my sadness/frustration in me. after all, i understand the hearts of unbelievers beacause ive been one before. God leaves u guys to make choices for yourselves anyway. however, if u've known the 'truth', yet still trying to run away from God, then i can't really say much.

There are just so many deceptions blinding our eyes. God loves each and every one of us. He does not favour one over the other. He loves you the same as He loves the ppl whom you think are great (pop-stars? supermodels? politicians? yes, even terrorists and criminals). Yet, we have these voices telling us that we're lousy, we can't make it, we can't hold a candle to so-and-so. Always rmb that even when everyone in this world deserts/laughs/makes fun of/humiliate/hates/looks down on you, you have someone who will always be there, waiting ever so patiently for his beloved child.

Someone said before that perhaps the true religions is love itself. never before has he been so wise. (just joking!)

2007-05-21T23:52:00.000+08:00

You are a Believer

You believe in God and your chosen religion.

Whether you're Christian, Muslim, Jewish, or Hindu..

Your convictions are strong and unwavering.

You think your religion is the one true way, for everyone.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

Your Brain is 53% Female, 47% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female

You are both sensitive and savvy

Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed

But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

2007-05-21T20:58:00.000+08:00

what can i say when even a fellow sister in christ doesn't understand at all? i was thinking if i should vent more of my frustrations but i suppose it will not do anybody any good, it will even make me even less forgiving. lol, i dun wan to say anymore, otherwise i will really say things which will make ppl unhappy again. ya, it's 'not right' since im a christian and all. yeah, christians can't do this, christians can't do that, christians have no life of their own, christians are proud and emphasise on the wrong things for the wrong reasons, christians have to constantly follow rules and they lead a rigid and stoic life, christians act holy, christians are too religious for their own good, christians are deluded, christians are narrow-minded, and lastly christians are just too freaky to be called a normal person and their thoughts are just too warped.

sometimes, ppl have this standard template of what kind of person should u be since u're a christian and u're so obviously proud of it. but i would like to say that we are still humans and we still fall in to temptations, it doesn't mean that religious ppl are more 'holy', it's just that ive been found, picked up by God, saved by His grace and mercy and given a new life.

and ya i wan to say this to michelle. PLS! im not dat crazy as to scold u when u've read the words on my pencil box wrongly! i just got reminded of this and so yea. there is a line between being crazily obsessed and devout!

i noe that ive said this many times but STILL im not tired of saying it. i dun care what others think of me for being so devouted to christianity at such a young age where most ppl think it's much better to be free-thinkers. when a person put God as his first place, things will go smoothly for him since the blessings from Him will never run out.

priscilla said that i should blog more abt my daily life, ok, so i shall take her suggestion and write sth. i forgot to bring many things today, my purse (but thank god i have some $), locker key, foolscap pad and HANDPHONE!!!!! just a day without my hp and im feeling not right. how technology has invaded our systems! terrifying...

and mr shankar is really really really funny today when he said this word-obiang. it is just so difficult to associate him with singlish! and last time he said sth like 'ok la'. it's just so funny that i can't stop smiling later when the laughter had died down. even now, i still think it's very funny. ha, im just so easily amused.

i can't wait for the june hols to come. because there is BATTLEFIED 2007 YOUTH CAMP @ EAST COAST PARK!!!!!!! yea, it sounds a bit corny.. it's my first time attending youth camp!!! we'll be camping out so pls, pls, pls, God, pls dun make it rain.. bright sunny days and windy cool nights will be the best! YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH!!!!!

also, there's WORLD PRAYER DAY at the singapore stadium this sunday. lots of christians will be there. so cool.

http://www.fcbc.org.sg/service_news.asp?newsID=203
http://www.fcbc.org.sg/service_news.asp?newsID=162

2007-05-21T00:55:00.001+08:00

You Are Very Happy

Your life is totally together, and you enjoy every day.
And you don't need a quiz to tell you that!
You know how to find pleasure in the little things...
And even when life isn't so great, you have a good sense of perspective.

How Happy Are You, Really?

Your Star Wars Name And Title

Your Star Wars Name: Kaywo Josin

Your Star Wars Title: Gnocho of Rehtorb

What Is Your Star Wars Name and Title?

Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking

You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal.
You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk.

You should major in:

Philosophy
Music
Theology
Art
History
Foreign language

What Should You Major In?

You Should Drive a Red Car

You're the type of driver who isn't afraid to be the fastest on the road.
You have a lot of energy built up, and you tend to get your adrenaline fix from driving.
Moving at hyper speed, you tend to be annoyed with slow drivers and slow people.
Life's too short to be slowed down by someone else!

What Color Car Should You Drive?

You're Kind of Stupid

You got 7/10 questions right!
There's some things most people know... except for you.

Are You Stupid?

You Are 36% Gross

You're a tad gross, but generally you're a clean, hygienic person.
No one can be perfectly clean all the time, and it's better to be human than a neat freak.

How Gross Are You?

Your Japanese Name Is...

Kimi Reizei

What's your Japanese Name?

You Are 12% Abnormal

You are at low risk for being a psychopath. It is unlikely that you have no soul.

You are at low risk for having a borderline personality. It is unlikely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at low risk for having a social phobia. It is unlikely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

You Are "Wow"!

What Japanese Smiley Are You?

You Are 24% Cynical

Generally you give people the benefit of the doubt. But there are exceptions.
You buy into many of the things that mainstream society believes, but you're not anybody's fool.

How Cynical Are You?

You Are An INFP

The Idealist

You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.
But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.

You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

What's Your Personality Type?

2007-05-20T23:21:00.000+08:00

Often, we look at the worldly things we have and think that to have them, we're so happy and satisifed.As long as we have the latest electronic gadgets, keep up with the latest fashion trends, have a hip boy-girl friend, we are happy. We think that there is nothing more to living our lives than having what everyone else has. We are so caught up with our world, where our lives revolve around ourselves, where everything we do, it's for ourselves, for our own good and for our own pleasures. "Oh, she has this thing and it's like so cool! I want to have it too. I don't care, i must have it." This kind of attitude is common place with most teenagers these days. We want to identify ourselves with the crowd, with our friends so that I will belong, so that I will not get despised, so that I will not be the odd one out. Our thinking is very self-centered. When have we ever done something which is actually selfless? When have we stopped thinking about our wants and desires, and for once, about something else which doesn't concern ourselves?
This is a materialistic world. Now, don't get me wrong. Christians are not monks that live in seclusion in temples or faraway places. We are not that extreme as to denounce all materialistic things that there are, neither do we forbid the occassional indulgence in something materiaslistic for ourselves. The point is that when we have these things, when after we got something which we want very much, we experience happiness, bliss even. But, will this satisfaction last? We feel temporary happiness, but will this last? No, they will not last, i doubt they will even last as time passes and as we age. After all, we can't die bringing these things along with us.

People can't give up their wants and desires. They're blinded by worldly things. The satisfaction they get is temporary. The trend changes. What is hot this season will not be so the other. What for do we pursue these things in our lives? They serve to satisfy our wants, not needs. To us, they are important and we can't give them up easily. Because when all these are taken away from us, there are nothing we can hide behind. What we have left will be ourselves only, our characters. And are our characters good enough to be proud of?

These are the things which separate us from the recognition of God, and that such a God really exists. We are consumed by what the world deems as important. We are so conscious of ourselves that we get prideful, caught up by our own ambitions and what the world has to offer. We love the world so much we get hurt by what the world says. We are afraid of rejection, of being a loner, of having no one close to our hearts, no one to turn to in times when we just need someone to listen. And we often forget that we always have a faithful friend around, yes, that is God.

Ha, shan't get too long with this post, else claudia will say that im longwinded and naggy again.

get an idea of what i experience every sunday!!
>>>http://www.fcbc.org.sg/

2007-05-15T22:31:00.000+08:00

God really answers prayers. i think for the first time of my life i actually felt pleased with myself over my 2.4 timing. position 12. timing abt 14 mins plus. not very impressive. but still i made an improvement! from like 15 plus to 14 plus. haha.. and the 12th position? i like this number so much. ha...

there's hist test the day after tmr and i haven even started. well, 100% man 100% god. as long as i do my part, He will do the rest. fer what reasons should i even worry.

wat got into me today... when seah asked me a question i can't answer for like so many seconds... think i was too nervous. he can be so scary at times. ask ppl questions.. and u dun know if the question u get is it gonna be difficult or sth simple. haiz. so embarassing.

omg omg omg. i just read the lyrics of a deicide's song.. i can't believe it... and im feeling disgusted by it. no, dun misunderstand, im not a weak-hearted person (in fact, i can laugh and think that gruesome bloody scenes are funny)... but to condemn god that way... these bunch of ppl are really... i dun know what happened to cause them to disbelief in god, even turn away from him 180 degrees. they are really blind... blind to think that Satan is the King of Kings...well, can't blame them. god cannot capture the hearts of everyone anyway, still it's.... haiz.....

ARGH! it saddens me.........................................................................................

im glad im born in singapore.... less of these kind of things..... nonsense.. atrocities.. tragic.. miserable... ok, now i also dunno what im talking abt.... better study fer sea hist now...

2007-05-13T21:32:00.000+08:00

It's so not easy making a commitment, especially one to God. You have to put everything else behind Him. If you have something else on the day of your weekly church service, then that something else will have to go, even if it's something important like a class gathering. You can, of course, choose to go for your other commitments but God will know that He is not your Lord yet. You claim that you love Him, but God knows since He is the one who knows us the best.

Going to church has never been a more exciting event. It rocks. Between a Mayday concert and a church service, i would choose to go for churh, naturally, although that is not what i think last time. I thought that what's the big deal with services? It takes place every single week, and to miss it once is like nothing, since i can still go the next week. And it's like the same thing each week! Worship session, then sermon, then they will ask the usual things, then another worship session. Over and over it happens, so what's really the big deal if i dun go? It's not like i will stop loving God if i break my commitment to Him once in a while right?

Well, the thing is, if you really know in your heart that God loves you, and you really understand that He died for you, then naturally, you will put Him as your first priority, not your studies, not your family, not your career, not your friends and not your partners. If you think that you can afford to miss one session because you have something else to attend, or because you have to stay home to mug for a test which happens the next day and which you have not yet studied for then the answer is clear. You have not yet understood fully in your heart His love for you. You only know that in your mind.

Hmm, being a Christian is not easy, in fact it's so difficult that sometimes i feel tired and have thought of giving up. Many people are put off by the fact that Christians view their God as their first and their parents only take second place! They think it's weird, that our thoughts are twisted. Why is God so important to us? He's so domineering that even a close second place cannot do for Him? And it's not like He lacks followers. He is simply such a domineering God with some kind of 'King-complex'!

This is the sad thing. To others, they cannot understand the meaning of the cross. To your friends, they think you're trying to act holy and that you think you're more superior to other people. You try to say things to make them understand but they will just roll their eyes at you. Take my brother as an example. When i say that i've been to Jackie Pullinger's conference yesterday and that she is one who helps prostitutes and drug addicts, he scoffs. I can't explain my inner feelings without me sounding like a poor thing, subject to the mercy of others. The thing is that it doesn't mean that you are better and holier to the others if you are a Christian.The truth is you have to suffer what Jesus has to suffer. When you say that you are a child of God, you must be prepared to experience what Jesus has suffered before. Heartache, pain, and humiliation. If you choose to follow Him, there will be opposition, whether it's from your family or from people whom you don't even know. Whenever im faced with such situations, whereby there are so many things which i'll like to say and yet can't say, i will inevitably have the feeling that im alone and that there is no one else around to help me, or to even understand how i feel. Sometimes i forget that whatever things which i've been through, Jesus has been through all that years ago, except in a million times more. God understands it all. All these while, He's been by my side. When i face rejection, even from other Christians whom i know, He's always there. In fact all the way back, before He even created the world, He thought of me. He thought of us, yes, every one of us, all the thousands of millions of people around the whole world, ALL OF US. (Now, He's brilliant to even create the world so what are figures to Him?)

Brothers and sisters, when your heart turns cold and your passion is no longer for Him, just come back before the cross and let Him renew your heart. Sometimes it's indeed not easy to live up to the expectations of people so why not please God and do everything for His glory? When you really place Him at the top of your priorities, things will fall into place smoothly. After all, which loving Father will not want to give the best to His children?

Galatians 1:10
Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am i trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Sometimes we try so hard to win the approval of our friends, we don't want to face rejection. We don't want to be outcasted, we want to 'belong'. That's a sad thing with our generation. Many people are so afraid of rejection they go with the flow. What their friends do, they do, whether it's having the same food as their friends are having to something like taking drugs when everyone else are doing it. The thing is, which is a constant? God or men? Men can change but God will never change. He's still the same when he created the world. He's still the same when Jesus died and He's still the same now, in this century, this time. Similarly, His love for you will never ever change.

John 15:18-19
"If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it it, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.

John 15:21
They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me.

Sometimes i feel like slapping people, including my friends, who question me and my God. Yet, sometimes i feel like removing myself from the stand that i have, that is im a christian, so that i can be spared from persecution. But, God's love never fails to rev me up like quality oil does to an engine. I want to learn to love people like how God loves me. That is to love them no matter what they say or did. When God's perfect love fills you, it would be difficult to hate someone and easy to forgive people.

2 Corinthians 4:8
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

I thank God for his strength which carries me over the stupid things which i have to, out of obligation. why do they have to have project work in the first place? is it really that effective? i dun think so, considering how there can be 'unenthusiastic' people. that's the worst thing.

2007-05-10T21:27:00.000+08:00

This is Maya Angelou's version of Christians. I like this poem ALOT.

When I say..."I am a Christian."
I'm not shouting,"I'm clean living."
I'm whispering,"I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say..."I am a Christian."
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
And need Christ to be my guide.

When I say..."I am a Christian."
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say..."I am a Christian."
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say..."I am a Christian."
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say..."I am a Christian."
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my fair share of heartaches
So I call upon his name.

When I say..."I am a Christian."
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's grace, somehow.

What is a Christian?
The New Testament says, "And the disciples were called Chrstians first in Antioch."
Acts 11.26 KJV

The 'disciples' of the NT were followers of the teachings of Jesus. So, to truly be a 'Christian', you must live and practice Jesus' teachings.

Church membership does not make you a Chrstian any more than owning a piano makes you a musician.

Spending a few hours in a mechanic shop oes not make you a mechanic, not does spending a few hours a week in a church building make you a Christian.

Then said Jesus..." If ye continue in my word then are ye my desciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
John 8:31-32 KJV

Jesus said," By this all men will know that you are my discples, if you love one another."
John 13:35.

taken from http://www.tommyswindow.com/

2007-05-09T20:42:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. why do we believe in astrology, horoscopes, feng shui, palm reading, fortune telling and other things of the like? they are all devised by humans, though some involve spirits. These arts may have taken several years to form, after lots of calculation and experimentation done on the parts of humans. Yet, humans cannot be completely sure that they can predict everything. it takes speculation and to a certain limit, some wild guessing. but yet we still place our trusts in these predictions. who cares if the predicitions are going to come out wrongly? at least we have a certain idea about a possiblity of what may happen. we just can't help not feeling worried about our future. how am i going to do for this test? yes, ive studied for it but still i may fail! perhaps not everyone of us is paranoid to the extent that we will go consult the online horoscopes whenever we need reassurance on what colours should we wear so that blah blah... but the source is always present, for us to dismiss any suspicions that we have and to gain a better grip on the otherwise murky future.

when we believe in these things, then where does god stand? we trust fortune telling more than him. at least we can see and hear for ourselves these things, how about god? he may not even exist! where is he then if he does exists? compared to a substantial source of comfort and security, what is the role of god even? we turn to reading these things, trying to understand them and decipher their meanings. to us, god will be unimportant. he will just be something associated with christianity, one out of so many religions. we will nt take an extra step to know who he is, who jesus is, and what exactly did he do for us. for the rest of our lives, we will remain faithless in what we don't see, clueless to what that has always been there, just believing in the things which we can see for ourselves.

faith. spoken so often by the disillusioned fools who call themselves christians. hmm u may think that faith is sth got to do with religion and stuff, and so that does not bother u at all so u shall not go deep into its meaning. haha.

the relevant meanings of faith as taken from dictionary.com

1. confidence or trust in a person or thing
2. belief that is not based on proof
3. belief in God or in the doctrines or teachings of religion
8. Christian Theology. the trust in God and in His promises as made through Christ and the Scriptures by which humans are justified or saved.

i suppose i dun have to say much more. although i have a point to make. ppl say christians always have blind faith. blind faith... blind faith... it sounds negative. and it's not true! we have faith because we accept jesus as our saviour and father and before that, because we experienced for ourselves the proof of his existence and the fact that he loves us extremely. yes, its proof. there are lots of testimonials of non-believers, even anti-christ ppl, converting to christianity and who have never looked back since. i dun think that any kind of aggressive persuasion by anyone can make a person turn to christ and have absolute faith and trust in god. yes im referring to those ppl who always say,"oh, do u know that god loves you and he died for u? pls do come to my church!" (yes, they're my brothers and sisters in christ but still, they certainly put some pre-believers off) also, there are countless testimonials of ppl who have encountered near-death experiences (unconscious, coma kind) and when they come around, amazingly, they speak of their experiences with jesus in heaven before they came to. even more so amazingly, all these accounts speak of the same things... also, they are not biased views, not all of them are christians or caucasions.

like i said, there are lots of evidences and real-life testimonials of ppl actually meeting jesus for themselves. im also not one to believe in things with no concrete evidence. for what other reason do i blog so much about god? it's cos ive experienced the miraculous things god has done for me. i thank god always for giving me a chance to know him and im glad i did not turn him away like alot of other ppl. god will move mountains and the earth for u to know him. however the choice is still yours to make. believe or not, it's all in a person's heart. but im sure that god will never fail to touch a person.

btw, i can't believe what an idiot i am. i was just coming out of the side door of lt1 when i knocked the top of my forehead into the ladder. im sure i look a humourous sight. upon the impact, i let out a strangled cry and i staggered all the way to the other side. from now onwards, i will not look at the ground while im walking and i will keep my eyes open at all times. hrmp.

think im gonna change my blog song soon. 'tell the world' by hillsong is nice but there are more nice worship songs out there. heee...

2007-05-04T21:42:00.002+08:00

It's my last feng shui lesson today. yeah. (cause for celebration!) it's a trip at the orchard area. Ok, im sure that what im going to say will not register well with some people because i will be very sarcastic and i will be blatantly criticising some of the things which the geomancer taught us today. well, feng shui is GENERAL KNOWLEDGE (as so they say),not anything got to do with religion or what so no one has the grounds to say that im bring disrespectful to their religions!! YEAH. Oh, and brothers and sisters of Christ, it's advisable not to expose ourselves to all these deception. Unless, like me you want to have a good laugh about how ridiculous it is. here goes...

i forgot what place this is. but then the geomancer is talking abt how water is important to the feng shui of company buildings. even better if the water is flowing. and he said that this fountain is one perfect example as to a good fountain which would help propel the company to greater heights because the water is flowing, and slowly too. he said that flowing water = flowing luck/energy and so the company gets good luck all year round. WHOA. What an amazing job this fountain holds. People hold them in such high esteem. Such a beatiful fountain from a talented designer and people has warped his intentions as to why he designed the fountain this way. He might not even know feng shui at all, to begin with.

According to the geomancer, this empty area of land has not been touched by any land developer as it has a poor feng shui. yeah, right. Everything is supposed to be connected to feng shui. Honestly, have they even considered some other explanations as to why this piece of land is untouched? like how the land is too small and limited for anyone to construct any buildings of purpose? And how it's near a traffic juncture and so there they don't want to risk having car accidents when they drive their cars out? Ok, i admit that im talking crap, they may be total rubbish. But, at least i know that they shouldn't jump to conclusions about bad feng shui or what. And to think that they say feng shui is a calculated science. i thought science is about experimenting and questioning, about evidences?

These are the suntec buildings, beside the suntec convention hall and the fountain of wealth. There are five buildings in total and the managers of this place have invited 3 famous geomancers from Hong Kong to design for them their empire of companies. They are designed to look like a left palm. Pity i didn't take a photo of the 'thumb' (i only dare to take photos from the bus and not in front of the geomancer and others, i dun want him to actually think that im keen in feng shui!) as it's supposed to be the most interesting of them all. Then this area has all the five natural elements blah blah.. and the round driveway around the fountain of wealth helps to bring the good energy around and everyone gets a touch of the good energy and so everyone is happy because everyone gets rich together, yeah, yahoo!

Oh, and buildings are not supposed to be built so that they have sharp edges because apparently, sharp edges are inauspicious because it means you are pointing dangerous energy to your neighbour in front of you. (imagine holding a knife to the person in front of you). sorry, but i think this is really, utterly, truly, thoroughly RIDICULOUS. And here comes the meticulous feng shui masters to the rescue!!! They have added some features to the buildings so they will not be directing bad luck to their brothers as they are like all next to each other. wow, what a brilliant plan. i dunno if it's childish or what. i really dunno. And it's not that i dared to say all these sarcasms when i dun have any sound explanation as to why i think it's crap. later, later.

The best part is yet to come. What comes next is really the worth-to-laugh-out-loud part. The 3 Hong Kong geomancers thought of an extra twist to keep the good energy and luck to themselves. (their bosses' rivals are the developers of millenia walk which is just next to them.) They built a wall to stop the energy from flowing onto rival territory. yeah, brilliant solution! so the rich good energy will be always be kept to themselves and they will all share it amongst themselves and forever and ever they won't have to worry about some of their good luck spilling to their evil competitor because they built a super duper mighty wall which will rebound back their good luck to them and at the same time prevent bad luck from the other evil side to reach them! great solution! brilliant! smart! absolutely marvellous!! how wonderful! eureka! *doubles over with laughter*

This is the super duper mighty wall.

See the wall in the center? The left side is suntec, the right side is millenia walk. Come on!!!!!!!!! Wake up!!!!!!! If this is not superstition i dunno what it can be called. calculated science?? haha...

This is the ground outside the 'thumb'. They have just recently changed the tiles to something smoother, before it's more rough, like cobblestone. Well, it's so that things will go smoothly for them.

People listening intently.

Something from the ancient chinese times. There are lots of these kind of interesting stuff in the classroom of W*y Academy. Now this time im not being sarcastic, i truly think that they are interesting. Interesting way of thinking,our ancestors.

I wonder, why do some people put their fates in the hands of other people (geomancers, astrologers, fortune-tellers etc..)? They believe what they see and hear and they change their lifestyles, their places of residence, even avoiding doing something, wearing something or even eating something because 'according to the masters, they are supposed to bring bad luck.' Have you heard of the myth that businessmen cannot eat frogs (tian ji) because their businesses will fail if they do that? Well, i think it's downright ridiculous... If we really have to govern our lives because of these superstitions, then what kind of a life would we have? There will be no joy in having to follow these strict and to me, weird, practices and believes. Horoscopes, the common thing which ppl believe in.. even some christians. Think, before you read the daily horoscopes on your love life, your luck and blah blah, you already have half a heart that believes that what you read is true. And after you read, because you are willing to believe that what you read is going to happen to you, that thing will most likely happen, out of imagination and out of the willingness of your mind to believe that little piece of information is real, i dunno. What i know for sure is that these kind of things (meaning from someone else, dun care if it's a master, an expert or a famous fortune teller) do not come from God. i would rather place my life, my destiny, my fate, in God, not someone God created. Who is more superior? Our creator or we, humans? The same thing applies to an idol and a human. Who is more superior? We who crafted that idol or the idol itself? Ok, i know this remark is really offensive. But in a way im not referring to religions. Im just referring to idols (me trying to deceive myself, lol). And ppl say that we christians have to abide by the ten commandments also so aren't we even more miserable cos religion this kind of stuff is so much more strict and confined? ha, i know that god loves me, jesus loves me, i understand his love and so i love him back. When u are truly a child of god, you will honour him and know that the things u do are all worth it, worth it for his glory as he deserves it. the holy spirit is with me, in me and i find it a joy to be able to live my life according to his will and his teachings. great, i sound so religious but heck.. BWAHAHA..

Also, there are so many interpretations of the star patterns astrologers see. One astrologer's view may not be the same as another astrologer's view. So whose interpretation is the right one? This goes to show that humans can never be sure of the future, even fortune tellers themselves. (ptn: if famous fortune tellers can really tell the future, why can't they know everything that there is to know, that is going to happen the next day? you cannot deny that most things they cannot be certain of, humans just cannot know what is going to happen.. the future is foggy. No one but He knows exactly.actually i have alot to say about fortune tellers but i dun think it would be wise to say that in my blog, i dun want to offend more ppl than i might have already offended..)

And one thing, i realise that they only dare to talk about and show us the companies which are successful. For eg, the united overseas bank. He said that the five ice-cream sticks of the symbols represent the five natures and that the fact that it's red means that it's a fire element and so no wonder uob is doing that good. i dare say they only dare to talk about those companies which are successful. And also, i think they could have come up with these things about the symbols only when the company gets famous and successful.

Ha, they are actually very creative. There's this side of the singapore river which is rounded and they likened that to the belly of a fish. Since all the good food is at the bellyof a fish, this means the shops around that rounded area are prosperous. How far-fetched can they get? and honestly, i can come up with this kind of thing also. Just take some company which is already famous and rich and prospering and use a bit of my imagination. There! Seriously. any kid can also come up with this kind of crap.

God is a constant (think physics.. a constant will never never never change, no matter what happens, it is NOT a variable). God is the same since the beginning and now. He is still the same God. He still loves us, he still wants to protect us and he will still move mountains to let us have a chance to know him. We just like to move astray, just don't like to think that someone else other than themselves know more than they do, and that to believe in him means believing in the air, nothingness. (if so, millions of ppl, including me, in the world are either seriously full of imagination or we are sick in the mind or we like to delude ourselves. if i say that god is so real to me because i can feel his miracles work in my life, i suppose ppl will go skeptical and all.)

Ok, ive missed watching 2 of my favourite tv programmes because of writing this post... ahhhh... channel u's engine!!!

Last things to say. God gives us choices. He doesn't want to force or compel us into converting to CHristianity or what.. What he could have done to bring us back to him he did and the choice is still ours to make. After all, He gave us our lives and also the freedom to choose for ourselves come with it. yupps. And he sure did not mean for us to come up with twisted logic and turn away from the truth when he created us and blew life-giving breath into us. ARGH!!! i get angsty when i think of so many deception that is happening around me. It all comes down to Satan and his falsehoods. He try to turn god's children away form him. He drives us apart with these falsehoods, lies and deceit. Yeah, i know i sound narrow-minded, that the only perception i see is from a christian's pov. Trust me, im as sane as ever and i question a lot. But at the end of the day, im still won over by god. how to make people understand his love? i suppose it's impossible if their hearts are closed against him.

Oh, i feel sad for someone, because never in his life will he know god.. *wink wink.. (the geomancer..)

2007-05-02T02:28:00.001+08:00

project work.. pw... project work.. pw... ok right now its 2 40 in the morning and there's school in a few hours' time.. yet i can't get my head out of PW!!!!! freaking PW!!!!!! (im still typing the gpp) it's just an idiotic excuse for them to grill our minds and to cause us sleepless insomniac nights because we get recurring nightmares about it!!!!! ok, actually it's not that bad, if i look at it from another perspective, i think it could be considered as fun, and in some ways challenging. haha. at first there is some kind of small disagreement on which groundbreaker to do. it was between hq's angelina jolie and my bernie ecclestone and in the end angelina jolie won, because of bestia's last vote. i was like,"what happened to my bernie ecclestone? oh no.. there goes my f1." haha. but i guess angelina may be a better choice. it's only me in the group who is crazy over f1 anyway. also, i think hq is very capable of sending invisible death rays to me. u cannot see it but u can feel it. haha, sorry im just joking lol.. ok, now there's just the last part about data collecting. think i'll better leave it till some other day before i become a walking zombie in school (on second thought, maybe i am alreadi a zombie, a typing zombie... *weak attempt at a lame joke) pw... Pathetic Work... hahaha..*cold wind*

2007-04-28T14:04:00.000+08:00

OMG nicko is so cute!!!

2007-04-27T01:35:00.000+08:00

People say, "You're just 17, what for you're so obsessed with religion and god that kind of stuff, it's so freaky!"

If it's not the time now to follow God then when is the so-called suitable time? I may say that A levels are important and i cannot afford to screw up. Then after i finish my A levels? When that time comes, i may say that i need to have some fun first before entering uni, then comes uni, and i may say that i would want to concentrate on my studies, uni fees are high, cannot afford not to scrape through. Then comes after uni and i may say that i will have to find a job and enter the working world so i dun have the time for that. Then comes the time when i retire. Oh, im too old to follow god, can't really accept something unknown and new. Then comes the day we die and we think that oh we can't possibly turn back the time so there really is nothing to do already. On and on it goes, we're always giving excuses, only ourselves know why. If there are really so many excuses then for our whole life, we will never even give ourselves the chance to know god, not to follow him and give your heart to him, just the one time to convince ourselves to go visit our friend's church and to get an experience, surely this is something relatively easy to do? What exactly is preventing us from wanting to know more about the God whom created us. Now we cannot deny that there is a great figure who created all things on earth. Where do you think nature and the diverse living things in it come from? Or you may argue that there is no need for you to even know Jesus or God (most ppl say this)! We're not in dire need of anything, we're not so sick or diseased that we have to resort to religious help in order to get well, we're not born in a christian family so what's the point of starting anyway and we don't even know if there really is a god who exists just to love us. Most of all, we're not prepared to become 'religious' and mix with all those 'holy' people. I'm the one who rule my own life. I have the ultimate control over it. I can do whatever i want with my life. And since my parents gave birth to me then they are the ones whom i should put as the most important people in my life and i should love them the most. Who is this jesus? Even if he really existed that long ago, how can he be a god now? He's just a human for goodness' sake! I thought all humans are imperfect? Then how come this one person can be perfect, give perfect love and still be alive and living beside us all this while? Everything is about i, i, i. I want to do this i want to do that. I do these things for myself, not for anyone else. I can't imagine myself even doing things and serving a 'Lord', it's too weird, too detached from reality, too ridiculous to even think of, too unimaginable.

Well, even when i first became a christian, i still played around with these thoughts. I thought that going to church is a bore. Even staying at home and staring into space seems to be a much better option. I thought that there is no need to go at all as i can't understand the meaning of it. All the things they preach, they seem to be all the same! Blah blah blah. In my heart, i still don't know who is God or Jesus exactly. Yes i know that Jesus loves us and he came to died for us and he washed away our sins and blah blah. In my mind i know all these things but in my heart, i don't feel any of these things at all. I don't understand his love. I can't really come to terms with the meaning of the cross. "What do they mean when they say the cross is the bridge to salvation? And about sins, what are they? How can they be washed away? If so, then why are there still so many natural disasters? In fact, it's growing even more!"

Any person who really wants to know all these answers to the questions, if he or she is willing to do research, im sure that in the end, they will be convinced that there really is a god. Just take a look at the bible. It truly is an amazing miracle itself. Written over so many years ago by different people who don't know each other (they can't possibly have access to the things written before them as when they write the things which they've written already, the bible is not even published, the different books written before are not even brought together yet), it has over thousands of predictions which have really come true, in today's context. And it is the most accurate history document ever as the accounts by different people are written at most within 60 years of each other. The people who gave their word most of them know Jesus and have seen him, since it's such a short time span. And i don't think they have anything to gain by telling lies and falsehoods.

If you're interested to see what are the predictions in the bible which have come true, go to www.justtypeanything.logspot.com ignore the advertisements though, and scroll down.

Just imagine. There is a person who loves you so much he is willing to suffer all kinds of torture for your sake, how will you feel?

2007-04-26T19:10:00.000+08:00

Nicko. male. 5 years old. i love him alot. yeah.

2007-04-25T23:06:00.000+08:00

Go kelly's tribe blog to see the sermon on last sunday which i've posted!

2007-04-18T22:34:00.000+08:00

Here i am standing before you
Im yearning for your touch
Im missing that familiar love
The best of our times keep flooding my mind
They seem so faraway now
Weird it seems that you only came in the later part of my life
Yet i so simply believed in you
The simple faith which i had brought me closer to you
i do not question i merely seek
But those are lost times
If only time is reversible
If only i can undo my wrongdoings
If only i can be a child again
A child with simple faith
A child uncorrupted by the pleasures of the world
A child who yearn only for his father always and nothing else
Yet what's happened had already happened
The moment I saw him i fell hard
I knew that this is not true love
I knew that, really, long ago
Yet somehow i can't seem to tear myself away
The further i try to escape
The more i struggle
I was filled with guilt each time i think of you
Yet what can i do?
I was falling into a bottomless pit
Which would finally suck me dry mercilessly
I can't, the more i try i can't
Strange it didn't occur to me that it was just a deception
All was a lie
Devised by the devil
Cunningly conceived and weaved
If only i knew at that time
So that i could pull myself away quick
Without me landing in this state now
I knew that there was no one else to blame except for myself
I had already closed my heart upon you
In your place is him
I was convinced that you are the past and he is the future
My heart was stone cold against you
Yet compliant towards him
How can I be so foolish?
To have been blinded so much i can't even see the truth
All the while it's there for me to understand
For you to regain your rightful place
Our bond was so easily destroyed
Just by a mere mortal which the devil had sent
How i regret my decision, the things i did
It's all too late now
I could have turned back but i didn't
Now I stand here before you
I try to seek your thoughts
Mine being so tremulous
I try to seek solace in you
Yet you face me with a seemingly nonchalent expression
But is there sorrow and hurt i see in your eyes?
I try to seek your thoughts
I took a step forward
Thinking that you will welcome me back with open arms
After all im your child
Even though ive failed you
Still, i know you love me as much as before
Plates of the earth could shift and change
But not your constant love
I thought i was dreaming a nightmare
When i saw that the step you took was away from me
You hid your face from me
But the tear on your cheek is unmistakable
You said,
"Ive given you chances,
Ive given you grace.
Yet what you have done
Had truly broken my heart."
It was then my tears fell freely
I couldn't contain them any longer
My father.. so hurt because of me
Because of my sinful ways
While i indulge in worldly desires
It didn't occur to me that
You are so hurting
I couldn't ever imagine the pain you felt
At having your daughter slipping through your fingers
I couldn't ever even comprehend your thoughts
Yet as i sob and as my body tremble
I could finally understand
You are my lord god, my father
The void in my heart can only be filled by you
Try as i might to replace you it's not possible
For you created me
You know my heart best
You love me and care for me the most
There can be no one else other than you and you only
Yet im so foolish as to run away from you
From your love and from my freedom
How i wanted for you to just give me one more chance
For me to find the right path back again
Towards you and away from my shame
Yet i know there is a limit to the number of chances you give
I know that i had since gone on a route of no return
I know that ill really be truly separated from you this time
This time i know that there could only be a few more moments left to share with you
To enjoy my last wonderful time with you
Before i would be pulled away
Away from you
Away from eternity
Away from your love your comfort your heaven
Towards my permanent toture
My final resting place
Hell, Satan's hell
Where i would be burned always for eternity
While i see the others make their way to you
I know that i would cry out for you again and again
But that would be futile
Your back would be turned
Your decision final
All that you could have done to save me you have did
It's now up to me to face the consequences

Goodbye, my saviour, Goodbye.

Romans 2:5
But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentent heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of god's wrath, when his righteous judgement will be revealed.

2 Corinthians 6:14
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowshipcan light have with darkness?

Ephesians 6:11
Put on the full armour of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.

Yes, God loves us and he will forgive our wrongdoings. But if we know that doing something is wrong yet we go ahead and do it then it's really sinning against God. Let's not make the Holy Spirit leave us. Instead let's walk in thriumphal procession with the Lord!

2007-04-17T21:25:00.000+08:00

im really glad that i made the right choice. i switched from science to arts stream after the first 2 mths even knowing dat ive studied triple science in sec school and dat its a risk. i said dat im very absolutely sure dat i wun regret it and really! right now, im far from regretting my decision. im sooo relieved dat i made the switch cos i noe dat science is really not my cup of tea, its my bucket of vomit. i like lit and hist alot. haa.. both subjects are like reading stories and u respond accordingly to what the story is about. dat's so interesting. unlike science, i dun have to memorise things anymore, do calculations anymore, grapple with the many unknown and difficult to memorise names anymore. YEAH!!!

you deserve.... you deserve... you deserve... all the praise!!!!

2007-04-16T00:44:00.000+08:00

i have to blog about this before i sleep. seriously, if i dun get this off my mind, ill not be able to sleep well. ok, i want to rant about my school. its a sucky school now that i think of it. it sucks!! through and through!!!

1) we have compulsory yoga. yes i know about the benefits of yoga and all. i am constantly reminded of it everytime i pass by the yoga notice board. "100 years old and still going strong" in which there is an old woman doing a yoga feat. the principal said that they have modified the steps until it is far from being religious. i guess alot of christians have been coming up to him and saying that they don't wan to do yoga because they are christians. so i guess this partly explains the reason why he went on to say about all kinds of anti-christ things, even after he told us not to ask him anything regarding religous matters (we are in a principle dialogue session). "if the only way to go to heaven is through one way only, den i would rather go to hell" "im a christian but i dun go to church!" "those caucasians go all the way to china to learn gong fu from the shaolin temple!" "if there is only one god as every religion says, then which is the true god? christ, the mother of christ or (sth i can't rmb) really! this is really what my principal said! ok, the reason im NOT going to do yoga is because of the origins. its devised by hindi monks. ok im not being anti-watever-religion here or being racist, its just that i can't bring myself to do it. and its not the reason the principal said too. "u mean u do this action (clasps his palms together and hold them above his head) means u're worshipping a god?"lol, its just that yoga originates from a hinhu philosophy, focusing on meditation as a path to self-knowledge and liberation. (wikipedia) yes he said that they have modified it, but still! its the origins, the ORIGINS!! now, i noe that by doing yoga, i would not be converted to hinduism and instead, it will do a lot for my health. but den, i dun wan to be unfaithful to the one whom i serve and whom i regard as my only god. my fren says," i think u all christians the perception is wrong" but i dun care, if i have to run 10 runs alone on the track while everyone else is doing yoga, let it be. heck, if i perish, i perish (what esther said!) i noe that i will be branded as a freak, a weirdo or watever names ppl can come up with, the thing is that i dun care! wat i care about is the favour of god, not the favour of others. god himself sent his son to die for me. he gave me his life. why wouldn't i dare to bear with ridicule for his sake? i will do just that, i wun have any regrets, ever. (sounds cliche BUT dat's wat i really feel)

2) students not taking chi will have to take chinese cultural studies at my school. and they force us to take a programme, which i went against at first. i went to find the head of languages and told her that i dun wan to take it becausei dun wan to listen to someone talking about feng shui or sheng chen ba zi. den she went on to talk fer 15 mins!!!!! (yes i have a watch) about wat this is just general knowledge! we're not asking u to convert, in the future these things will help u, instead of being a student with only academic knowledge, u will be equipped with the knowledge of china, which is rising up right now as the next big dynasty! if u insist on not taking den i really feel sorry for our students (undertone: we christians should not be too fussy abt everything, we should broaden our view and not just be a frog in a well) worse, she said that there will only be a small part about feng shui this kind of thing. and wat do i see, hear and touch at my first lesson? feng shui, fortune telling and more superstitious things. "using the tong shu, u can check against the dates and time of occurance when ur eyelid twitches and so u can noe what is going to happen to u." later on, the late comers have to go up to the front of the lt to get the feng shui books (they are colourfully published and there is even an eng version, no doubt they wan to try and win our hearts, their hearts yes, my heart no) i went up and i picked the book up. i flipped it open and what i saw reeeaaaallllyy puts me off. if im not in front of so many ppl, i definitely would have shouted, yes shouted, "what the heck is this???!!!!" honestly, u cannot believe what they write. 'where to place the stove in the kitchen.' obviously, i cannot shout. so i put the book down and walked off. den one of the two teachers-in-charge (she knew im a christian) said," miaozhen!" with a reprimanding tone. i just told her wo mei you xing qu. really! i noe that i sound and look as if i have attitude but i really cannot help myself. under that kind of circumstances i just said what i wanted to say. sometimes being too direct is a taboo. but i dun care. so what if the teacher take offense at me? she can't do anything. im not being rude to her, in fact im being honest with her! also, it is definitely not a wrongdoing by not taking the books. i dun wan to take, no one at all can force me, the end, period. but now i regret my decision. i should have just taken the eng version of the book and look thru it and laugh out loud at the contents and most importantly, post those really hilarious ones on my blog. im sure some ppl would want to laugh along too. and now, im not insulting any religions here. "feng shui is not religious at all! its general knowledge!" now, u can't blame me for laughing at general knowledge now, can u? (im going to borrow the book from someone in my class haha. she thinks its crap too, btw) oh and did i mention that i have to pay a freaking $84?????????????? my edusave account is left with $2 only lol. $84!!!!! my parents' hard-earned $$$!!! heartbreak!!! argh!!! nvm, god will provide. oh, this reminds me of sth my pastor said today. "who by worrying can have an hour added to his life" exactly. watever financial needs, god will supply. yeah. isn't god a wonderful god? (*chorus: yeeeeesssssssssssss!!!)

ok, its 145 am now and its mon. great. gonna need my sleep. till here, until next time... bwahahahahahaha............................... zzzzzzz.....

2007-04-13T23:05:00.000+08:00

i fell asleep during hist lecture again!!! now dat i think of it, i dun think ive successfully kept the zzz monster away during a hist lecture, except one, just one. i think i must have been too tired. every day i have to wait till at least 1 am before i will sleep, its like i cannot sleep early unless im super tired. and the problem is dat i only get tired during the wee hours of morning den i will gladly go to sleep. and so i ended up getting less than straight 8 hours of sleep! sorry god, because of this stupid sleeping habit of mine, i always enter sleeping mode before i can even finish my chat with u. wwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are many terms which u can use to descibe god. holy, merciful, forgiving, fatherly, giving, patient, peaceful, kind, loves us alot. however i think i wan to add another word to describe him. he's creative. just look around us and u can see god's works. heck, just look at urself in the mirror. ur eyes, nose mouth, ears.. everything, right from ur root hair to ur toenails, they are all created by god. everyone is wondefully and fearfully made in his image. he modelled us under him, so who dare to say dat he/she is ugly. u may be in the eyes of humans but the eyes of humans are not perfect. other people dun view u with a loving heart, only god does. look further within u. all the complex mechanics of ur inner body, the nervous system, digestive system, respiratory system, blood transport system. even up till today, scientists do not know the exact contents of the life-giving protoplasm. they cannot re-create this and so humans cannot recreate the origins of life. one cannot deny the fact that there must be a god who created us and who crated us with loving hands. look at the natural land where other living things coexist in intricate and delicate relationships. there are so many species of flora and fauna that we have not even discovered all of them. the different animals, all of them which hold us spellbound. we think horses are beatiful, we think lions are majestic, den aren't the one who created them even more so? the theory of the big bang, i think the people who think that its indeed true are impossible. how can so many amazing living things just pop out with a collision? and look at the earth itself, so many layers of different gases. each one there for a purpose. i dun think that just by a mere coincidence, a universe, planets, animals, plants, humans would just appear. it is so obvious that all these things are the work. he has the power to do all these things, all his work remains as evidence, still we stubborn people just could not bring ourselves to believe in his existence. we believe in ourselves, in our hard work, in the amount of effort we put in, in things which we can see.... but not our saviour. he died for us, sacrificed so much just for our sake, knowing that he would go unrecognised by ppl in the future, yet we dun see him at all. he's so real!! yet we're blind. we open our eyes big for the worldly things, things which are superficial, which we get temporary happiness from, yet we choose to close our eyes to the most obvious of the obvious.

anyway this webbie is cool, u can watch the whole service without actually being there. http://www.fcbc.org.sg/faith_sermons.asp